


Lost

by Kamaleen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alpha!Poe, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Movie Spoilers, Mpreg, Omega!Kylo Ren, Post-Canon, Racist Language, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, Tension, Torture, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5662744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamaleen/pseuds/Kamaleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you want them to call him 'son of the traitor'? Doesn't 'General Organa's grandchild' sound better? Which one do you want?"</p><p>"What do you mean? He needs you. Your son needs you."</p><p>"No, he does not need me, and so do you."</p><p>"Ben…"</p><p>"This is the only thing I can do for him, and for you."</p><p>His most bitter memory surfaced, and Poe groaned before covering his face with his hands.</p><p> </p><p>---Seven years ago---</p><p> </p><p>"It turned out that…" general Organa continued, her voice sounded strange in Poe's ears, as if she was nervous and worried. "…Kylo Ren is an omega."</p><p>"An omega?" Poe nearly knocked the chair over in shock. "What? Him?"</p><p>"Yes." General Organa nodded. "He has been in pre-heat for 48 hours, and will be in full heat soon. It appears that he had been using too much suppressant that his body starts to show a symptom of drug resistance – in this case is resistance to suppressant. And with his heat prolonged and refused for years, there is a high possibility of the heat not ending and biological systems collapsing if he isn't mated."</p><p>"Wait a minute…" Poe gasped, "You want me to fuck him?!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI! This is my third fan-fiction in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) so far! I really like Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren. So, after already written two fan-fictions of Top!Kylo Ren, I've decided to write the one with Bottom!Kylo Ren. //grinning like crazy
> 
> Okay, first of all, I'm not a native speaker and this fan-fiction doesn't have a beta reader. All mistakes are mind. And in case anyone who wants to help editing/checking this story please contact me by the email on my profile ^^
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, only my imaginations.
> 
> Also, I've changed the age of Kylo Ren in this story, by canon he should be around 30-31 years old, but here he will be around 22-23 years old ^^
> 
> This chapter is kinda short, but I guarantee you that the next chapter is going to be a lot longer, since it will contain about the heat and more about what happened to Kylo Ren before the story in this chapter.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and feel free to point out any mistakes I made. Comments and suggestions are all welcomed ^^

 

 

 

"Dad!"

"What is it Ben?"

Poe pulled himself from under the fighter as he heard his son ran toward him, BB-8 trailing behind with a beeping complained that Poe's son should finish picking up his toys before rushing to his father's workshop.

"Dad, I found this!" A young boy with raven hair smiled, showing Poe a doll made of soft black fabric and a woodcraft of an X-Wing Poe used to fly. Poe felt his heart dropped as he saw the doll and the X-Wing, they contained so much memories.

"Oh, wow." Instead of showing his grief, Poe smiled and held his son up. "Where did you find them?"

"In a wooden box under my bed." Ben replied, giggling as he Poe inspected the doll and the woodcraft. "Dad, can I go play in the garden? I want to show him our house."

"Of course you can, but only after you finish cleaning up your room."

"Dad…"

"No excuse, Ben Solo jr." Poe shook his head and his son pouted.

"Okay Dad." Ben sighed, before walking away. BB-8 trailed behind, complaining with beeping of how it wasn't approved of babysitter's duty. Poe shook his head, he was glad Finn and Rey would be visiting soon. Despite his son's origin, everyone loved him, especially Rey. And Ben loved her so much he wanted to play with her all day every time she visited. Poe guessed it must be the Force-thing.

Talking about the Force, it made Poe thought of Ben's another father. His birth-father.

 

" _How do you want them to call our son?"_

" _What are you talking about?"_

" _Do you want them to call him 'son of the traitor'? Doesn't 'General Organa's grandchild' sound better? Which one do you want?"_

" _What do you mean? He needs you. Your son needs you."_

" _No, he does not need me, and so do you."_

" _Ben…"_

" _This is the only thing I can do for him, and for you."_

 

His most bitter memory surfaced, and Poe groaned before covering his face with his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_**-Seven years ago, Resistance's mother base-** _

 

 

 

 

"Mr. Dameron, walk with me."

Poe was about to walk out of the command room after the briefing when general Organa called him. He span back, surprised to see the old general besides him. There was something in the old beta's eyes, telling him that she needed something which she wanted to request it secretly.

_Just like when she asked me to go get the map to Luke Skywalker._

Poe thought, nodding as he walked besides her in silent. General Organa didn't start talking right away, but Poe was okay with it. He could wait. Behind her, he saw her personal guards followed closely, but still giving them spaces.

 

General Organa kept walking until they were out of the base. Poe followed her silently as she leaded him into the woods. He followed her as she leaded him deeper and deeper into the forest near the base.

"Mr. Dameron." General Organa said after a while. "I have a request."

"Yes, Ma'am." Poe replied, just liked how he replied to her request when she asked him to go retrieve the map to Luke Skywalker. "A secret mission?"

"No, not entirely a mission, but still a secret. And you are the only one I trust to take care of this matter." The general sighed, waving for her guards to give them spaces. They nodded and fanned out, covering the area but still out of earshot. "It's a request you can turn down if you want to." She continued.

"What is it ma'am?" Poe asked, impatient already. He really wanted to know what the general was going to request.

General Leia Oragana looked him in the eyes as she spoke, "I will tell you, only if you promise to complete this mission without telling anyone." Despite the seriousness in her tone, Poe also sensed hope, and desperation. He had a feeling that this was something real serious and fucked up. He looked into the general's eyes and saw something more, something the genera wanted him to know without saying it out loud.

_You are my only choice. If you can't do it, no one can._

The general desperately needed him to promise.

"I promise." Poe replied. He was confident there was nothing he could not get it done for the general and the Resistance.

"Very good." Leia Organa replied. Poe could see relief in her eyes, and a silent 'thank you' she didn't say. "I will give you more detail after we take off." She leaded him toward a ship hidden behind trees and bushes. Her guards trailed silently after them. Poe got on the ship without a question, even that he still wanted to ask general Organa of what her request really was.

"Please have a seat." The general said when they were in the air. Poe took a seat nervously across from her. They were in her private quarter of the ship, her guards were outside.

"So, what is the request?" Poe asked, leaning against the backrest of the chair. The general sat down, sighing heavily.

"You know that Kylo Ren is in our custody, right?" She started, and Poe nodded.

"Yes…?" He remembered the Resistance soldiers bringing an unconscious Kylo Ren in. In the terrible battle two weeks ago, they were able to shot Kylo's ship down – Poe was able to take out one of its thruster, and the ship crashed. He heard a report that they found Kylo Ren alive under the scatters of the half burnt and ready to explore ship. Most of them wanted to leave him there to die, but general Organa ordered them to bring him in. After that Poe knew nothing, he just guessed that they must had held Kylo Ren captive somewhere – and must be trying to crack any information out of him.

"It turned out that…" general Organa continued, her voice sounded strange in Poe's ears, as if she was nervous and worried. "…Kylo Ren is an omega."

"An omega?" Poe nearly knocked the chair over in shock. "What? Him?"

"Yes." General Organa nodded. "He has been in pre-heat for 48 hours, and will be in full heat soon. It appears that he had been using too much suppressant that his body starts to show a symptom of drug resistance – in this case is resistance to suppressant. And with his heat prolonged and refused for years, there is a high possibility of the heat not ending and biological systems collapsing if he isn't mated."

"Wait a minute…" Poe gasped, "You want me to fuck him?!"

General Organa nodded, and to say that Poe was shocked was surely an understatement. That was the first time in his life Poe ran out of things to say. He didn't know what to say, how he should react. His boss just asked him to fuck a kriffing monster who responded for a Jedi massacre years ago, and responded for many deaths of the Resistance members and innocent people around the galaxy.

"That is correct." The general replied. Poe could see that behind her calm and collective posture, she was worried and desperate. She really needed him to do this, to save Kylo Ren from his biological self-destruction. And he knew if he said 'No' even that he had promised, he knew she would not punish him or demand him to keep his word.

Nevertheless, Poe wasn't someone who would just break his promise when the request turned up to be crazy and beyond shocking. Kriff, he was shocked since he knew Kylo Ren was an omega. When they were on the ship, the man's scent was beta. Then Poe remembered something, he thought it was his imagination; that one moment when Kylo Ren leaned in Poe could almost smell something sweet from the masked man - something that scream gentle, tender, sweet, and fragile. He was about to mention it when Kylo used the Force to force an answer from him, before leaving him to recover. This memory slipped from his mind when the moment later he was trying to escape from the First Order's ship. It didn't came back until now.

"Why me?" He asked, voice sounded weird to his ears – as if he was in a dash or half conscious. He sounded uncertain, still shocked, yet curious.

"You are the only one here, except Rey, who face him and still live." General Organa replied. Her voice was quiet and tired. She sounded like she was about to collapse from carrying so much responsibilities and hope for a long time. "Rey is with Luke, and she is a beta. So, it's only you." The general sighed, she looked so tired - so exhausted from something that a woman her age should not bear. She should be able to sit back and let the responsibilities fall to the new generations and other people after her long sacrifice. Poe gulped, feeling his head span as he tried to make up his mind of what he was going to do.

"I want to know that how long it will take until the heat ends." He asked; his voice sounded a lot calmer than what he really felt. "And I want to know if he is on birth-control." He wouldn't want to have a kid with this monster. The idea almost disgusted him, _almost_.

"The doctors estimated the heat to end in six days after he receives the first knot." General Organa answered. "They also confirmed that his reproductive organs had been incapacitated from suppressant overused. He cannot reproduce." The general sounded bitter – too bitter – liked a mother who saw her child killed. Poe mentally frowned; he wondered what had happened which brought the general to sounded like this – what had Kylo Ren did - _what had she learnt from him? Did he trick her with the Force or something?_

 _Did Kylo Ren tell her about her son, Ben Solo? Her only child who was killed during the Jedi's massacre._ Poe thought bitterly. He felt himself hating Kylo Ren even more. Ben was their hope to defend the galaxy; he was general's Organa hope to carry on the mission of restoring the galaxy to what it was before the madness, and now the hope was gone.

"You can't just let him die, right?" Poe said slowly, trying his best to stay calm. "You need information from him. He hasn't told you everything you know, right?" He tried to reason with himself that he needed to do this, for the sake of the Resistance, even when the other parts of him wished Kylo Ren to die slowly and painfully by his own self-destructing from his own biology. He also ignored the small part of him that somehow wished to see Kylo Ren – to find out how he tasted during the heat.

"No, I can't." General Organa replied. The old beta seemed to be torn between immense sadness and stress. Poe nodded, _it must be hard for her trying to keep the murderer of her son alive._

So he just sat back and requested that he must had a private room of his own, he didn't wish to be with Kylo Ren all the time. He wanted to be away from the mad man when Kylo Ren's heat subtle during each waves, also demanded that the room Kylo had biometric security - which meant that only Poe could open it. The general agreed to his request and confirmed him that he could quit all the time, even when Kylo Ren was in the middle of the heat. Poe showed her his gratitude but insisted that he was okay; he would complete the mission no matter what.

 

 

 

 

They arrived at a small planet near the Outer Rim in hours later. Poe had already done with scanning his left hand and retina for the biometric security. He was provided with the map an estate located in the middle of a giant valley that he would be staying with Kylo Ren. They gave the whole estate to Poe. No one wanted to be near the alphas when their omegas were in heat, instinct could change any alpha from gentles and easy-going to very aggressive and territorial.

Poe wondered while they literally gave him the whole estate, he was sure that just a small house would be enough. Moreover, Poe didn't think that Kylo Ren deserved any luxuries, judging from what the monster had done. He was about to voice his question when they landed on small platform.

 

As soon as the door opened, they were greeted with three doctors in Resistance uniform. They were all beta, and all had a faint scent of something that made Poe's nostril flared. The scent was light, but sweet and alluring – just liked what he had scented in that interrogation room.

"How is he?" General Organa asked, her voice held much concerns for Kylo Ren; it made Poe frowned. However, he didn't bring it up as he followed general Organa and the doctor to a vehicle nearby.

"We are able to put him to sleep as we transported him from the prison to the manor." Doctor Allen, whom Poe remembered as general Organa's old friend and personal doctor, replied with much concerned in his voice. "However, he managed to injure three staffs before we're able to hit him with a tranquilizer gun. If my calculation is correct, his heat will fully hit at the same time as we arrived to the manor."

"Poor child." Poe heard general Organa sighed; her words shocked him. He could not believe general Organa spoke as if Kylo Reb was her son, not a murderer of her only heir.

_Wait… what if…_

_No, that's impossible. There is no way Kylo Ren is Ben Solo._ Poe thought, nearly missed the voice of Doctor Allen calling him.

"…Mr. Damaron sir."

"Yes?" He jumped and turned toward the old beta male.

"You are the alpha who volunteer to help him through his heat; am I correct?" The old doctor spoke with soft gentle voice. Poe nodded as they stepped into a large car that looked like a train without a railway.

"Yes, I am." Poe nodded, taking a seat besides the doctor. The rest of General Organa's guard and doctors were behind him. The atmosphere in the car was tense, which was expected since they were going to meet one of the Resistance's biggest enemy.

"Okay," The old beta gave him a friendly smile, and Poe also gave one back. "So, have you been with an omega before?"

"I've helped some of my friends through their heat." Poe replied. He was slightly able to hold back his alpha instinct, that's why he was many omega's first choice to ask for help when they could not find a heat-partner in time. "I know a standard protocol of how to take care of an omega." He added, his experience taught him. The first rule of being with an omega in heat was safety for both of them.

"Good." Doctor Allen smiled, relieved. Poe noticed that the doctor had the same look as General Organa when she heard Poe promised – a look of relief mixed with gratitude and sadness. "However, I have to inform you that we had decided to restraint him until you get there. Is this going to be a problem?" The doctor continued and Poe grinned.

"Oh, it's not going to be a problem at all." He said. "I can always improvise." He added, _who won't be glad when they knew Kylo Ren is chained? Even that it might give a false sense of security, it's definitely better letting that monster roams free around his cell._

Poe guessed he might have spoken his thought out loud as the Doctor looked disturbed, but the old man hid it quickly and looked away.

 _Something is definitely up._ Poe thought as he looked out of the window to the endless of greenest.

 

 

The estate was guarded by three beta when they arrived. The youngest guard grinned at Poe as he walked passed the fence into its perimeter. An endless field of greenest surrounded the white estate, and stretched its boundaries to kiss the line of the forest around them. And surrounding the forest were mountains after mountains with waterfalls here and there. To cut it short, this was one of the most beautiful place Poe had ever seen.

"Maybe the general's intention is to give you a chance to pay back." The youngest guard whispered to him. Poe knew this man, they were childhood friend. Poe used to go play with him after school.

"I thought so." Poe nodded, grinning even when he had a feeling that this was more than that. The general definitely was hiding something.

Despite his suspicion on general Organa and Doctor Allen, Poe walked toward the estate with them trailing behind him. A faint sweet scent became thicker and thicker as he walked. Poe felt his alpha instinct rumbled in the back of his mind, pleasing with what he was smelling.

 _Well, at least his scent is pretty good, too good._ Poe thought as he was in front of the front door. However, no one had followed him. He turned back to see Doctor Allen and general Organa standing behind, a few steps away from the house.

"Don't kill him." The general said. Her voice was firm, but there was something in her eyes. To be honest, she seemed as if she was about to cry.

"Mr. Dameron sir," Doctor Allen spoke. His voice was smooth, but his eyes also glittered. "If anything happens, please contact us immediately."

"Will do." He replied, looking at both of them. General Organa nodded and Poe nodded back, before he turned and entered the building. The door slid shut softly after him, and he immediately walked toward the window. He was in time to see Doctor Allen let general Organa leaned on him as they made their way back. The general seemed to be crying, and it confused Poe as same as rising the suspicion he had.

Nevertheless, despite wanting to think about what he had just seen, Poe sniffed the air and growled. The omega, Kylo Ren, was clearly in heat. Even more, this scent smelt like it's his first heat.

 

"What in the galaxy…" Poe wondered as he followed the scent upstairs. The corridor and the estate were well decorated in the way that Poe had never seen before, however, he didn't have minds to care as he stopped in front of a double door which had a scanner.

The scent was radiating from the inside, making his mind become foggy as more blood made its way his groin. Poe groaned and put his left hand on the scanner, and let the other scanned his eyes. A soft beep confirmed his authorized entrance, and the door opened.

Heavy scent of a desperate omega in heat filled his nostril as Poe made his way into the room. The door slid closed softly behind him.

Poe could heard a whimper, then it became a whine as he walked closer. The room was huge but the omega's scent was everywhere, overwhelming his thought bits by bits. The light in the room was dimmed, as to not startle the omega writhing on the large bed. The omega was on his stomach, with his arms and legs chained to the bed. He was groaning, moaning, whimpering, and writhing around as he rubbed his crotch against the sheet below.

The omega was in a standard patient uniform, with white shirt and loose white pants which were soaked from his sweat and his lubricant. It covered his frame liked a second skin. Poe could not see his face yet, however, he saw a mob of soft curly hair, long limps, slender hip which was swaying around, and nice ass.

Poe knew the omega realized he was here, as his movement became more aggressive. He tugged and pulled at his restraints, clearly trying to tear himself free. However, with the overwhelming instinct to mate, Poe would not be surprised if Kylo Ren was torn between wanting to tear him apart - or just begging Poe to fuck him.

But one thing he knew, was that the omega was scared.

Poe smirked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! First of all, thank you for your supports! They mean so much to me. Thank you!
> 
> Second, I've to warn you that this chapter might contain a disturbing scenes/words/language. And I've also added more tags because some scenes in this story, so you guys know what you might find here.
> 
> And last thing, I have no beta reader for this story, all mistakes are mine alone. Also, if anyone is interested in beta-ing this fic - please let me know in the comment or contact me via the email on my profile ^^

 

 

 

Kylo Ren groaned as he tugged at the restraints that kept his arms and legs in place. He felt embarrassed, ashamed, weak, and disgusted. He wanted to laugh at how pathetic he had become, and how low the Resistance had fallen. He had never thought before that they were so desperate for information that they needed him alive even when his body was going to destroy itself painfully. They were so desperate to keep him alive even when it meant restraining him like a breeding stock waiting in a queue to be bred – to be fucked.

Doctor Allen, that old dirty fox, said with such pretending gentleness about keeping Kylo Ren in place before he would hurt himself further. _'Please master Ben, please hold on, we are going to find a suitable alpha for you. He is not going to take an advantage of you, I promise'_ – that old man had said something so funny. _Oh, such a big liar!_ There was no one in the Resistance that didn't want to hurt him. He had killed many of them and their hope - those _Jedis_. He had destroyed numerous numbers of their bases and their hideouts. It was such a filthy lie to say that someone is going to be good to him. _So kriffing funny!_

Kylo Ren growled again before he tried to pull his arms free, so he could die with pride that at least he had killed the alpha they sent in here. His mind was too foggy, and the heat was making him unable to focus, which meant he could not reach for the Force to free himself. And the drugs, those drugs they used to put him to sleep when they transported him from the prison to here, had drained his strength.

Also that kriffing pre-heat, during the pre-heat he could not eat; he felt like throwing up all the time. That fox said it was a symptom of drug-resistance; in his case was the suppressant he had been using for years. _'I'm so sorry you have to go through this master Ben, it's my fault I cannot find the cure in time…'_ – then that filth looked at him with such sadness in his eyes. _Pretended sadness!_ No one cared for him, he is Kylo Ren of the Knight of Ren – a commander of the First Order's army. The Resistance wanted him dead, the only thing that kept him alive until now was the information they needed from him. The information he was going to bring them with him to his grave – if the Resistance were kind enough to give him a grave rather than just shot him and turned him into a fertilizer.

Kylo tugged at the ropes again, growling in frustration as he could not pull himself free. It was so embarrassed, and disgusted, to wake up and found himself held to the bed liked this - like a bitch in heat ready to be fucked. They said this was for his own safety - since he had been crawling and scratching at his torso, and didn't stop even that he had drawn blood, to keep his focus away from the pre-heat and slickness at his ass. He wanted to laugh. This scratches were not going to kill him. He had gone through a greater pain than this.

Another wave of heat surged through him and he groaned, knowing that the heat had fully hit. He could feel himself leaking uncontrollably, and his cock was hard and throbbing with need. The only comfort he had now was the quiet whispering between Doctor Allen and his colleague that _'Master Ben's reproductive systems were damaged beyond recovering from the suppressant overused'_ and _'He is infertile'_ , good, at least he would not have to carry the child of the alpha who was assigned to fuck him until the heat ended.

After a while of trying to get free, he finally gave up and let his face rested against the pillow. His ass was throbbing in need and he was very uncomfortable with his cock trapped under him since he had no strength left to keep his lower half off the bed. He felt so useless, weak, pathetic, and ashamed.

"Lord Vader, if you are looking at me, please look away. Please abandoned me." He whispered to the air, tired and desperate. "Please, don't waste your time with me. I cannot finish what you have started, nor giving myself to the Dark Side as you had showed me. I failed to become stronger, I failed my master, and I failed you." He felt like crying and bit his lower lip – using the pain to stop his tear. "I'm not worthy of your time. Please, let me died alone in shame, it's my punishment – it's the only thing I can make up to you. Please." He ended up sobbing, burying his face into the pillow and cried until he had no tear left.

The heat overwhelming him when his last strength to hold on to his self-control snapped. He groaned and tried rubbing his crotch against the soft mattress below, trying to ease the need that overwhelming like a flooded river. Then he sense a presence of someone near the room - his woozy mind prevented him from sensing anything more than that. But when the door opened, he knew it's an alpha. His omega side keened and moaned in pleasure as he inhaled the thick sense of an alpha, a very familiar one.

 _It's that pilot, the pilot…pilot that gave the map to his droid…_ Kylo thought weakly, his mind was swimming in a lagoon of need and lust. He could almost feel his sphincter muscle fluttered, spasming, welcoming the alpha.

That alpha moved closer and Kylo had to bite back a moan; he felt his hip swayed in such seductive and wantonly way he would never do if he was in his own mind. His face was still pressed to the pillow. He didn't want anyone to see him, didn't want anyone to see what expression he had. If made him felt vulnerable. He hated to be stared at since he was a kid…

Kylo pushed the old memories back, but it was no use. His self-control had snapped, so his childhood memories surfaced. They were memories of the day he was just a weak and pathetic child – following his mother everywhere only to hide behind her when someone approached. And most people usually approached him with judging eyes, because they knew he was an omega.

He remembered trying so hard to make his parents proud, and for everyone to accept him from his abilities not because he was 'general Organa's son'. Nevertheless, whether how hard he tried, he still heard people whispering behind his back that they're unsure of his ability to become as great as her – since he was born an omega with a complete useless personality.

At first he hated the doctor for deciding to taste his blood and genes since birth to see what his biology was, and then everyone knew he was born an omega. Normally someone would know they're an omega when their first heat hit, then their scents changed from beta to omega. However, in the end Kylo Ren had found the advantage of knowing his true gender since he was a child; it made him started taking a suppressant since he reached his puberty, to preventing the heat and the change of his scent. He had to thank master Snoke for sending him the suppressant; Luke Skywalker would surely rather have him facing the heat, followed by the humiliation from his own nature and other Jedi students.

Kylo Ren knew he could use the Force since he was a child. One day some of his mother's officers expressed their doubts of him out loud in the command centre. They asked general Organa if she was sure that her son was able to learn and become the leader - even that he was standing right behind his mother.

He didn't remember what happen next, but he remembered being so furious and hurt them – which he didn't remember how. Then his father sent him away to practice with his uncle – Luke Skywalker. There, at the Jedi Temple, he had met Luke Skywalker's other pupils who were the same as those officers - questioning his abilities because he was an omega. He remembered begging his parents he didn't want to go, but they insisted that he had to. They abandoned him, just liked everyone he thought he could trust. Just like that man – an alpha he thought he could trust.

 _Who was him…?_ Kylo frowned, he didn't remember this person clearly. He only knew that this alpha had been kind to him, and he once liked this one. He had thought that this alpha was good, but then that alpha abandoned him as well. Just liked everyone else.

"So, you are Kylo Ren?"

A male voice snapped him out of his thought, and Kylo Ren growled. He tugged furiously at the restrained, only to feel pain radiating – mentally and physically.

"Yes." He replied, trying to sound unfazed by the situation he was in as much as possible. "So? Payback time then?" He snarled, trying to sound tough, but it came out like a weak whimper then anything.

"I'm not sure." The alpha replied, before a hand touched his ass and squeezed, making him hiss. "General Organa wanted me to save you from your self-destruction, but I didn't find the idea of fucking you… pleasurable." Then a hand was dripping between his ass cheeks, pushing against his leaking hole. Kylo wanted to scream as pleasure shot through his vein, hating himself from squirming to get more friction. He ended up biting his lower lip instead, trying to keep himself from completely submitting to his instinct.

"Then get the hell out of here." He tried to growl, but it came out as a moan. Despite his word, the alpha didn't move. He just pulled his hand away, but climbed onto the bed.

"I want to see your face." He pilot simply said with a hint of warning that this was not a request - it's an order. Kylo growled and pressed his face against the pillow, didn't care that he might suffocate himself. He was not going to give in without a fight.

A hand grabbed his hair, and pulled his head up liked he was just a rag doll. His neck muscles screamed in pain as Kylo tried to fight the alpha, but it was no use. Poe was a lot stronger then him, especially when Kylo was in heat. He gritted his teeth as he tried to resist as much as possible – but Poe still be able to pull his head up and twitched until they he could see the side of Kylo's face.

Kylo Ren hoped that his face was displaying only hate and rage, despite the need which was overwhelming him, threatening and screaming for him to beg for a knot. He mentally screamed, nothing had prepared him for this. He had researched on the holonet about what a heat felt like, he knew it would be overwhelming, but he had never thought it would be this bad. He had never felt this pathetic, this need, and this kriffing terrible lust before. He felt the urged to beg but refused to give into his instinct.

"Pretty face." The alpha said, titling his head around despite how painful it was for Kylo Ren's neck muscle. "If you're not such a psychopath killer, many alphas would probably kill for you."

"I don't need an alpha." Kylo gritted out, hoping that he sounded intimidate than weak and scared.

The alpha smirked, before he withdrew his hand and let Kylo's face fell to the pillow below. "Challenge accept." Poe Dameron simply said, before he pulled away. Kylo gritted his teeth and buried his face into the pillow. He tried to block the alpha out, hoping that by the time he was reduced into a moaning and begging mess he would be unconscious already.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Poe sat back to watch the omega on the bed writhed with need. He found it strangely satisfying to see Kylo Ren in such stage. Well, if would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy seeing Kylo Ren in pain. He had helped many omega through their heat, he knew how intense it could be. Giving that this was Kylo's first heat, and it had been prolonged for years, the impact was going to be devastating.

Poe smirked as he finally heard a whimper from the body on the bed, his cock was throbbing with need, aroused by the scent of an omega in heat. Nevertheless, he had accepted the challenge from this once fearful warrior of the First Order, better gave it his best shot.

So, Poe forced himself to sit back even when there was an obvious bulge on the front of his pants. It was very uncomfortable, but Poe just shrugged and ignored it. He watched the omega trembled with need, and smirked. Normally Poe was a gentle guy. He often opposed the idea of torturing the prisoners without necessary; but this was Kylo Ren, and Poe was sure he wanted this man – omega or not – to suffer.

 

An hour later, and Kylo Ren finally begged. Poe ignored it at first, he heard it but he wanted Kylo Ren to be desperate enough to put away his dignity and seriously beg.

"…please," another whimpered was forced from the trembling form of the omega whose upper legs were heavily soaked that the pants hugged his slender limps liked a second skin. Poe moved himself and the chair closer to the bed, carefully as his pants was definitely too tight for his liking.

"Did you say something?" He asked, looking at the omega who stared back at him. He could see anger in Kylo Ren's eyes, but then the heat and lust overwhelmed it.

"Please…" the omega moaned with hoarse voice – he was almost sobbing, "…please… fuck me."

"What? I didn't hear it clearly, mind if I ask you to say it again?" Poe acted as if he was innocent, titling his head to the side and grin.

"Please…" this time the omega closed his eyes, defeated and completely submitted to him - not willingly; it's because Kylo Ren finally admitted that he had no other choice. "…please, I cannot stand it any longer. Please fuck me… please…" sobs and desperation radiated from Kylo Ren, and Poe decided that it's the time to act.

"Since you have asked so nicely." Poe smiled, before he climbed onto the bed and position himself between Kylo Ren's parted legs. He could see the omega trembled in both lust, and fear. Half of him – probably the instinct side - wanted to comfort Kylo Ren, wanted to make the omega feel better. However, the other half was laughing in joy to see their enemy suffered.

Poe slowly pulled Kylo's pants down. It was so wet, and he could clearly see the clear liquid leaking from between that round cheeks. He smiled, pulling the pants down to Kylo Ren's knee. The omega moaned and begged with words that started to sound incoherent. Poe unclasped his pants and finally pushed it down, letting his cock sprang free. He was already dripping with pre-cum.

"Here goes nothing." Poe said, grabbing the omega's hip with one hand, the other hand slowly positioned his cock toward the small virgin entrance. He could see and feel how trembled the omega was, how scared and desperate he was. Kylo Ren's legs were going to give up any minute now, if not because Poe grabbing his hip, he would likely be down on the bed.

Without saying anything more, Poe slammed in. Kylo Ren's screamed in pain and pleasure. Even in heat, which meant the omegas were slicked with lubricant, it could still be painful for the first time without preparation first. However, Poe didn't care, he just slammed in and let his instinct did the work.

He fucked Kylo Ren hard and fast. His hands gripped the omega's hip with such pressure he knew he was going to leave ugly bruises on the omega's skin. To be honest, Poe felt the urge to comfort and made sure the omega's first time was going to be gentle, tender, and slowly-progress. But then he remembered that, despite being in heat, this was still Kylo Ren - so he kept his fingers digging into the man's flesh.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Kylo groaned and moaned as finally he had something up his ass, even that it was so painful since it was his first time – a first time without a preparation. He had read that even when the omega body was so ready, the first time would still hurt if proceeded without a preparation. However, he didn't care. He needed just anything to ease the pain - the pain of being weak and pathetic. Physical pain was not uncommon for him, a few days of resting would help. But mental pain, yes, this was what he wanted to erase. He wanted to erase the memories of how he had failed his mission and he wanted to forget that he was an omega; he wanted to be unaware of what was happening now – that he had a cock up his ass.

"Hey, stop biting the pillow, I want to hear your voice." The alpha's voice snapped him out of his thought. Kylo Ren immediately opened his mouth by instinct. It's in omegas' instinct that, when in heat, they would to listen to the alphas.

He moaned when the alpha rewarded him with a harder slam, hitting his prostate all the way. Half of him was moaning in pleasure, but the other half of him was screaming at him of how pathetic he was, how useless and weak he was. Also, one tiny part of himself was whining and wondering of what he had done wrong to make this alpha care so little of him.

 _I don't care!_ Kylo Ren screamed to himself. _I don't care if he had no concern for me! He is here to fuck me and keep me alive. And that's it!_

Even though he was telling himself he didn't care – Kylo Ren knew it was a lie. He knew that deep down he was still craving for care – love – someone who truly care for him.

Suddenly, the alpha picked up the pace. Kylo moaned as he was pushed forward before being pulled backward from the alpha's strength. His knees and elbows hurt from supporting himself. He could feel his release coming, it was near, he could almost feel it – just a bit more and he was done. Then the alpha just pulled out, making him yelp at how empty he felt, and whined at how horrible it felt to be left. He felt as if he was abandoned, and it hurt liked hell.

Then the alpha was back, pushing back in so slowly Kylo wanted to scream. However, he bit his lips and let his head hung down in shame of how deep he had fallen. Then a hand grabbed his hair and pulled his head up.

"I think I made it clear that I want to hear your voice." The alpha whispered into his ear and Kylo moaned weakly – needy – before he felt teeth grazing the soft skin between his shoulder and his neck. He shivered from both fear and anticipation. Half of him was craving for the mating bite – to be marked, to be mated - while the other half was terrified to be mated - to be made someone's property – to be owned.

"Don't worry." The alpha said as if he could read Kylo's mind. "I won't mark you." His words were simple, and his tone were neutral, but it hurt so much. Kylo Ren gave another moan, he already felt himself and his mind collapsing. He needed the release, he needed the knot. He could not bear this pain anymore. He could not bear the confusion in himself. If he managed to make one side happy, he would have less pain to deal with. And the only side he had a chance of stopping the pain was the omega side of him.

"Please," he heard himself whimper – whining in pain. "Please knot me, I need it, please." He sobbed, then a soothing hand was rubbing his tears away. It surprised him. He had never thought that this alpha wanted to give him any comfort or care.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry I have been such a dick." Then came a soothing whispered as the alpha rocked his hip slowly, but every pushed back would make his cock rubbed against Kylo's prostate – sending an undeniable pleasure up his spine and to every part of his body. "I will go faster now, are you ready?" This question came with a soft kiss to the back of his neck. Kylo Ren felt himself shuddered at how gentle the alpha was.

"Yes, please." He heard himself beg with tears, before the alpha pulled out and slammed right back in. His prostate was hit with such force it almost made Kylo saw stars. He moaned his encouragement and dropping his chest and his face to the bed, leaning back agains the alpha and felt the hand grabbed him at his hip.

He finally let himself go with the blissful sensation overpowered him. He was too tired to resist his instinct – too tired to keep his conscious mind up. Kylo moaned as he could feel something thick slamming against his sphincter muscle. He knew he was going to be knotted, and he needed it. He needed it so much.

"So tight," he heard the alpha growling in pleasure before he slammed his knot passed Kylo's entrance. He heard himself screaming as the knot expanded. His muscle was cramping down against the knot as soon as it was inside him. The knot immediately popped and then immense pleasure flooded over him, blinding his mind, making his world turn white. He heard himself screamed as he finally came. His head was spinning as the conscious part of him tried to think of any happy memories he had to forget himself that he was finally knotted.

Kylo could feel the alpha's tightened his hands against his hips before something was shooting inside him, filling him. His legs lost its strength and he would have fallen to the bed if not because the alpha was holding him up at his hip. Memories flooded through him as he felt himself slipped away into a real sleep he hadn't had since the pre-heat start.

Then he could not remember anything else.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Poe was gasping at how good it felt inside this omega. He somehow felt guilty prolonging Kylo's torment - even that he wanted to rock his hip slowly into a tight hot passage for a while until Kylo lost his mind. So, in the end he gave in to his need and fucked Kylo Ren with all he had. In a few moments later he was able to push his knot passed Kylo's entrance. The omega's scream filled his ears as Poe forcing himself not to bite Kylo by instinct.

His knot popped, locking them together, and he howled as he hit his release. However, unlike his other time knotting an omega, he could feel such immense pleasure and relief which was not from himself, but from the man under him. Then came memories, images of what he was sure he had never seen before. Everything just exploded behind his eyes, and then nothing. So he looked down, and found that Kylo Ren had passed out.

Poe sighed and kept himself still until his body was more relaxed, then he slowly arranged their position. The restraints kept Kylo Ren from moving much, but Poe could still manage to have them both laid down on their side without injuring the already asleep omega.

He sighed and let his arm fell over the omega's side – half hugging him, as he thought about what he had just seen. The memories he had just seen, the memories he was sure belonged to Kylo Ren. He had heard that the Force users could send images or even memories to others. And he was sure that Kylo did this on accident. There was no way this man would want anyone inside his head.

The first thing Poe saw was greenest of the forest around their old base. _So Kylo Ren was once with them? Aha, no wonder why he knows us so well._

Then came general's Organa's smiling face, followed by a room that was well decorated. A house, no, a manor. Then the corridor of the old Resistance base. Then it's Poe. Poe was smiling at Kylo Ren, behind him was the old hanger and his old Y-Wing Fighter.

Poe gasped as finally the pieces after pieces had come together.

_Kylo Ren is truly Ben Solo._

This realization hit Poe hard, and it made his heart ached. He knew the Ben. He knew Ben since he was just made a pilot of the Resistance. And he still remembered the boy until now.

And his memories of Ben Solo immediately flooded his mind.

 

 

Poe remembered the boy.

A boy, general Organa's son. A beautiful omega boy who followed her closely as she walked around the bases. He had eavesdropped some of the officers whispering behind general Organa's back about their doubts in the boy's ability to become the next leader in case this war was prolonged.

Poe didn't hesitate to report this to Han Solo. He knew general Organa had had enough stuffs to worry about, she didn't deserve to deal with this shit. Mr. Solo had made sure the officers Poe reported would be silent, and sometimes Poe made them silent himself. He hated to see someone being judge for what they were, not who they were. He had many comrades who were omegas, and their abilities and skills weren't any poorer than betas or alphas.

Then one day, as he was walking toward a hanger, he heard someone sobbing. Poe followed the voice until he met the boy, Ben Solo - general Organa's son, sitting in the corner of an empty conference room. He was sobbing, his knees were pulled close to his chest with his arms over his head.

"Kid, kid what happened? Did someone hurt you?"

Poe was panic at that moment. He remembered crouching down besides the boy, putting his hand on the trembled shoulders – only to be shoved away.

"Leave me alone!" The kid shouted at him, tears streaming down his face. Poe frowned, not backing down.

"Hell no," he replied, sitting down. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No," the boy drew back, squeezing himself further into the corner. "Go away." He hissed liked a wounded animal, and Poe felt angry of whoever caused the boy to cry.

"Kid, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Please tell me what happened." Poe said with gentler voice. The boy didn't reply or show any sign that he heard what Poe had said. He was about to ask again when he heard Ben whispered.

"They called me whore."

The boy sobbed, whipping tears from his eyes furiously, only for them to spill out more. Poe froze in place. _Some people called this boy a whore?_ He could feel his anger rising. Normally Poe was one of the last person to get angry, but this time he felt like ripping their throats off.

"I was in the…library…studying…then I… I heard someone talked about me… so…so I hid behind a…a bookcase to…to listen." Ben tried to speak even that he was still sobbing. "I…I heard… they said…they said that they can't believe they will…will… will have to follow…me… when…when my mom… my mom is gone… They said omegas are born only to… be…bred….they said… I…I am…useless… they won't… they won't listen… to me… because I… I… am a whore… They…they…will try…putting anyone else… in charge…after my mom…" then Ben broke out into tears again.

"Shhh…that's enough." Poe whispered as he instinctively pulled Ben into a hug. Ben was tensed at first, before he gripped Poe's shirt and cried on his shoulder. Poe caressed Ben's hair with one hand, the other hugged the boy tightly, ensuring him that he was safe with Poe.

However, despite how gentle he was on the outside, he was furious. _How dare they talked about a child like that? How dare they spoke lowly of such good child likes Ben_ – Poe had to suppress his growl. Even that he didn't usually meet Ben a lot, but his close friend was Ben's teacher at the school the boy was in. She told him that Ben was a hardworking kid, and one of her best students. She said that Ben was always aiming to make his parents – especially his mother – proud. She told Poe that Ben wanted to attend the Resistance's pilot school after he graduate.

He stayed with Ben until the boy stopped crying, then he told Ben funny stories in hope to make Ben forgot those cynical words as soon as possible. After that Ben said that he had to go, or his mom would be worried if he wasn't at the library when she finished with the meetings she had to attend today. Poe offered to accompany Ben. The boy was reluctant at first – afraid that he might be wasting Poe's time, but let him come along after Poe said that the library was in the same direction as where Poe's quarter was.

As they entered the library, Ben immediately slowed his pace and gradually switched his place from one the left side to his right. Poe didn't voice his curious, knowing that Ben did this to use him as a shield, so he looked at his left and saw a group of officers talking quietly among themselves at the table near the wall.

"Are they the ones talking poorly of you." He asked Ben as they made their way further into the library. Ben nodded swiftly, fear was obvious in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I will take care of them." Poe said as they reached the desk where Ben had been studying at before. He saw piled of books and lots of notes, telling him that Ben was indeed a hardworking kid.

"But..." Ben grabbed his arm, seeming to disagree. "…I…I don't want them to know I heard what they said. I don't want anyone to think that I'm a snitch."

"They won't, I promise." Poe replied, smiling at the boy who still clung to him. "I've to go now, but if you need anything just go to the main hanger and tell them you are a friend of Poe Dameon, okay?"

"Okay." Ben nodded, and Poe gave him another reassure smile before he made his way out of the library. On his way out, Poe observed those officer and growled when he saw that they were no one else, but one of the pilots and officers working in the Resistance's fleets.

He exited the library and went to tinker with BB-8 new slingshot for hours, before went to meet with this group of pilots and officers one by one.

In the next day, five heavily injured pilots and officers were sent to the infirmary. No one knew what happened. There had been an effort to seek out the one responsible for such terrible injuries, but in the end they could not catch anyone. Also, the most surprised thing of all, was that all of the five victims refused to speak of their attacker and of why they were attacked.

Poe met Ben several time after that. They exchanged some of their thoughts. Poe learnt that Ben wanted to become just like his father – Han Solo, one of the most skilled and crafty pilot the galaxy had ever known.

Poe told Ben about his parents who inspired him to become a pilot. He also taught Ben a few things, liked a basic knowledge of how the ship works, the basic knowledge of the engines, and so on. He knew Ben enjoyed spending time with him, and so did Poe. However, several months after Poe first met Ben, his career as the pilot of the Resistance had escalated very quickly. He had shown great potential in each battle, so his commander gave him the role of a squad's leader. He had more works to do, more meeting to attend, more responsibilities, but he was happy. He loved his job, he even met the girl he wanted to date in one of the many meetings he had to attend. However, with more responsibilities and being in a relationship meant that he had lesser and lesser time to spend with Ben.

Ben was surely not okay with the change, but the boy didn't let it showed much. They kept messaging sometimes, as both of them were busy with their life, and Poe had to admit he was focusing with the girl he was dating than others. Until it came the day Ben stopped texting him, and Poe didn't even notice. He let it slid and completely forgot about Ben for a period of time, until he heard from his friends that Ben could use the Force. Or actually, he used the Force to injure three officers in the command room. Two days later Poe heard that Ben was sent to train with Luke Skywalker, and he heard nothing more.

A few years later, he had received the new of the Jedi massacre by the hand of someone called 'Kylo Ren'. A few months later Poe's girlfriend died in the battle against the First Order. He pushed his grief aside and tried to go on with his life, hoping that he would see them again someday.

 

 

 _So now we saw each other again._ Poe thought bitterly, sighing as he caressing Ben's hair slowly. His anger toward the omega was suddenly gone, replaced with grief and pain. He wanted to know what had happened, what had turned Ben against them. He had a feeling that he knew why general Organa decide to keep this a secret. However, he still wanted her confirmation that this was really Ben Solo, and he wanted to know why she hadn't told him about Kylo Ren's true identity.

The alpha waited until his knot was subdued enough to pull out. After that he stood up and got dress quickly – his mind was still wondering of how he would propose his questions to general Organa.

Poe was about to left when he heard a whimper. He could see that Ben was slightly shivering, so he grabbed a blanket nearby and draped it over the omega. After that he turned and exited the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcomed. I'm all ear to what you guys want me to added into the next chapter ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Here is chapter 3! I'm sorry if it's too sloppy, or bad, or something. It's almost 2 AM here and I'm so sleepy right now - not even sure if what I'm typing is coherent or not. I've tried to rewrite it, but in the end I didn't know where to change - so I decided to post it up before I change my mind again.
> 
> Also, thank you for your supports! They mean so much to me. Thank you!
> 
> Moreover, I've to warn you that this chapter might contain a disturbing scenes/words/language. I've added more tags because some scenes in this story, so you guys know what you might find here. I've also edited the note in chapter 1, since I just realized that Kylo Ren's age in this story is probably un-canon [he should be nearly the same age as Poe]. Thank you Azriel_Lolita for bringing this up, or I would have completely forget about it ^^
> 
> And last thing, I have no beta reader for this story, all mistakes are mine alone. Also, if anyone is interested in beta-ing this fic - please let me know in the comment or contact me via the email on my profile :D

 

 

 

It took Poe a while to find the com-link left for him in a large library. This manor was huge, and luxurious. Nevertheless, Poe had a feeling he knew whom this manor belonged to.

It took him several seconds to get the right channel. After a few seconds, a hologram of Doctor Allen appeared.

'Mr. Dameron, I hope everything is alright?' the old man asked with concerns in his eyes.

"Everything is fine." He replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. "May I speak to general Organa?"

'Yes, sir' Doctor Allen stepped back, and general Organa's hologram appeared. Poe had a feeling that she had been waiting for him to call this whole time.

'Poe.' Leia Organa nodded. 'Is everything alright?' She asked. The general sounded worried.

"Yes," Poe nodded, and he immediately got straight to the point. "Please forgive me ma'am, but why didn't you tell me Kylo Ren is Ben Solo?" He asked, trying his best to keep his voice neutral.

'How did you know? No one should know that besides me, Allen, and Chewy.' the general looked surprised – shocked - to be exact. Besides her, Doctor Allen frowned. Poe could tell that the old medic was as surprised as general Organa.

"I figured it out." Poe replied, keeping his voice neutral. "General, I've met your son before. I just… remember him."

'No one should know about this.' General Organa sighed, sitting down on a chair with one hand to her forehead. 'No one is supposed to know. It will destroy the Resistances' spirits. I want everyone to remember my son as Ben Solo, not…' she sighed again, massaging her temples with her hand. The old woman looked as if she was about to cry, and Poe immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry general." Poe said, looking down at his hands. "I will take care of him as best as I can." He added, trying to make her feel better. He knew that the general still loved her son all the same, even after Ben had turned into Kylo Ren.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Kylo woke up with a panic.

He gasped and looked around the empty room. There was no one in here, _where is my alpha? Has he abandoned me?_

Then another voice cut in from his more conscious side.

_Idiot! Your next wave hasn't reached yet, there is no need for him to be here._

Kylo inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly. He tried to calm his nerve down, knowing that there was no use panicking. He needed to pull himself together. He had to think of what to do next, and he needed to act fast.

The omega inhaled and tried to change his position on the bed. Then he stopped and inhaled sharply as he felt something leaking out of his ass. Disgust and satisfaction risen, debating each other on what was best for him to feel. And as his wave hadn't hit yet, Kylo Ren mostly felt disgusted at himself.

 _I was bred, just liked those livestock._ He thought bitterly, tugging weakly at his restraint. He felt thirsty, but there was no way he could get out of his bed soon. _At least now I might be able to reach for the Force again. I might success; the heat seems to be down enough for me to use the Force, at least for a period of time. I'm going to kill that alpha!_

Kylo grunted and closed his eyes. His head was still foggy from the heat, but not as bad as before. He started to feel the connection, and he started to feel the Force around him. The heat and his omega side threatened to overthrow his will, but he fought back – using every of his bitter memories to distract himself and to strengthen his focus. He dig his bitter childhood up, replaying the time he was mocked and made fun of by those who thought he wasn't listening. It worked; he could feel his anger rising.

Kylo then tried to use his hate and anger, and when they were not enough he also called for disgust and disappointment – disgust and disappointment of himself. He needed all negative feeling to get rid of his omega side, at least until he could break free from this ropes.

Biting his lower lip, he forced himself to focus until he could feel the soft rustling of the Force around him. He reached for it, and weakly directing it to regain his strength as best as he could. Then he let it flew through him, directing toward the ropes.

 

A few minutes later, he succeeded; the ropes on both his arms snapped. _It worked! Maybe I'm not all useless. Or maybe this is just another test from Master Snoke._ Kylo thought as he immediately got up to a sitting position, ignoring that his lower lip was bleeding, before taking care of the ropes on his legs. Then he pushed himself to the edge of the bed and standing up, decided to discard his soaked pants which had been clinging to his ankles for a while.

He walked toward the wardrobe and frowned when there was only patients' clothes in there, the same close just liked his. Nevertheless, Kylo decided to grab a new pair of clothes and discarded his old one immediately.

 _Now, what should I do next?_ Kylo thought, looking around _. I'm going to kill that alpha, that's for sure. But first, I've to get out of this room. Then I will kill him and go back to my master._

He looked around, satisfied that there was no camera. _That old fox is stupider than I've thought, he should keep me monitored all the time._ Kylo thought, grinning, as he tested the door. It wouldn't bugle, and he hadn't had enough strength to break it with the Force.

Then he saw the windows, and they looked fragile enough to be break by the level of the Force he could use. He took a deep breath, knowing that how weak his body was. However, he had been gutted once and still lived; this heat and the starving should be nothing. He must endure this, it's the punishment for his failure.

"Lord Vader, if I deserve a second chance to redeem myself from my failure, please show me the way." Kylo Ren said, his voice was shaken, as he walked toward the window and slowly placed both his hands on the glass. He knew his hands were shaking but he didn't care. He had to go, the next wave could hit him any minute now. "Please, guide me back to the Dark Side." Kylo whispered, before focusing on breaking the glass.

At first, nothing happened. Then came a soft crack, before the whole window broke down to pieces. Kylo smirked, letting himself a little luxurious to drink in the taste of victory.

Then, an alarm went off.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

'…the most important thing is to make sure he does not dehydrate. Giving the volume of fluid omegas produce during their heat, you need to make him drink fresh water after every wave.'

"Will do sir," Poe replied, nodding as Doctor Allen went on with how to take care of an omega in heat. Of course Poe knew all the basic drills; he had helped an omega in heat before. However, it seemed like Doctor Allen didn't intend on instructing him of how to take care of an omega. Poe knew the older male intention was to tell him that he must take care of Kylo Ren – Ben Solo - no matter what he felt.

Then the alarm went off, and Poe sprang to the standing position. He grabbed the comn-link and attached it to his wrist.

"The alarm went off, I'm going to check on him." Poe said to the comn, already linking it with Doctor Allen's comn-link channel.

'Be careful,' the general said and Poe mentally sighed. He wanted to tell her that Kylo Ren, by all means, did not deserve any kindness from her after he caused her so much pain. Then again, he knew better than to say it out loud. General Organa would still forgive her only son, even if he might want her dead. Poe knew he would have to end Kylo Ren, if that madman didn't cooperate with them. Omega or not.

However, against his better judgement, Poe knew he wanted Kylo Ren – no, Ben Solo – to be alive.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kylo panted as he pushed himself forward. He was such an idiot to forget that they might install an alarm to every window in the house. Now he had to go before the reinforcement arrived, or he would not make it out of here alive. Those Resistance soldiers who guarded the perimeter probably looking for him everywhere. He had to be swift and careful.

Talking about being swift, Kylo knew he could not do that. He could feel his temperature rising; the next wave is about to his any minute now. And as his temperature risen, also his scent. With himself in the open like this, now any alpha within 500 metre radius would be able to smell him.

 _No wonder why I am such a failure._ He thought bitterly, making a run for the forest. He knew this place, he knew this estate and knew how large it was. Its perimeter was the road which was cut through the forest – probably guarded. If he was lucky he might be able to slip passed the guards around the perimeter and got away. This land had almost 5 kilometres dimeter, full with wildlife as that general wished to preserve the nature of it as much as possible. So he should have a few minutes before the heat scanner could detect his heat signal.

"Come on," He grew as his legs as he reached the forest line. If not for the Force, he might not be able to make it across the field and to the forest line before that alpha could see him. Well, to be honest he was surprised to find that the mansion had only him and that man, at first he expected at least a squad to guard the mansion.

 _This time I will be grateful for their stupidity._ Kylo thought, pushing himself into the forest as he had a feeling that the alpha was near. However, he had to hide his heat signature, which had become higher than usual due to the heat, and his scent before he get to the perimeter. And he knew exactly how to hide them.

Not far away from the house was a large stream, large enough for him to dump himself into it. The water should be nearly freezing in this season, as winter was about to arrive at this part of the planet. It would help dimming his scent and his temperature for a few minutes, might be enough for him to reach the perimeter.

It took him a few minutes to reach the stream. Large rocks at the bottom of it looked sharp and dangerous, but Kylo didn't care. He jumped in, biting his lower lip to keep himself from screaming as the cold water enveloped him. Then, as he had predicted, his left foot make a contact with one of the sharp rocks below, followed by the crack he felt in his left ankle.

Pain shot up from his leg but Kylo didn't care. He kept himself underwater, ignoring the throb in his foot and his ankle. He desperately reached for the Force as he tried to keep himself submerged, trying to ignore as his skin burnt from the coldness, and his lungs screamed from the lack of air.

Until he knew he would be able to go on for a while with no one detecting him that Kylo let himself up from the water. He panted as his lungs tried to suck in as much air as possible. Half of him wanted to lay down and die, but the other half scolded that he must not stay here; so he pulled himself out of the water and went on.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Poe ran through the forest, followed the faint scent of the omega which lingered in the air and on the trees he had passed. Half of him was screaming for him to find Kylo Ren quickly, before the man was gone and probably going to tell Snoke about their secret base on this planet, while the other half was howling in concern and excitement.

The second half was his alpha instinct, which was both concerned for the omega and excited as said omega wanted to give him a test. Years ago, it was common for omegas to give the alphas they wanted to mate with a test to see if the alphas really the ones who could protect them. The most common test was 'the chase'. Alphas would give the soon-to-be-their omegas some times to run off into a large area – commonly a forest – before trying to track them down.

Mostly the chase would occur when the omegas were about to go into heat, so they could mate right after the alphas caught them. Also, it was said that alpha-omegas couples who bounded after 'the chase' would create stronger bounds that those who didn't. Nevertheless, due to the war, this tradition was less seen as most of the populations of the Resistance hadn't had enough time to enjoy the excitement and sweet time for the chase – since it required an isolated place and times – two things they could hardly acquire during the war.

So, given the situation, Poe could not help but let his alpha side be excited by 'this chase' he had to perform to track down Ben. Also, against his better judgement, he had ordered no reinforcement from the base not far away. Poe wanted to catch Ben by himself; he wasn't sure why – but it seemed like his alpha instinct had something to do with it.

The trail of Kylo's scent leaded Poe to a large stream. He sniffed the air, and frowned as he smelt blood.

His alpha instinct kicked in, and Poe crossed the stream quickly. The scent of the blood – Ben's blood – was heavier as he was on the other side. He growled low, before sprinting off after the trail.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_The next wave is almost hit, what should I do? What should I do?!_

Kylo Ren was panicked. His gripped on the Force was slipping, while the next wave was going to hit any seconds by now. He could feel something slick leaking out of his ass and his head was foggier and foggier every second passed. It was the pain in his left leg that snapped him back from the need to be bred. He bit his lips, trying to image himself being caught helpless in front of all the guards and that alpha out in the open – consumed by pure lust; it would be such humiliation. The fear of being caught liked that fuelled his will to keep on, or else he would have cried for the alpha to come help him.

Cold wind hitting his skin as he forced himself through the forest. Despite the greenest he saw, the temperature wasn't as 'warm and homely' as the forest full of life seemed to suggest. It was freezing, especially when he was wet and shaken to the bone from the heat and the temperature outside. He knew he was probably going to catch a cold after this, but that's totally not his concern right now.

Then, the overwhelming need rushed through him. Kylo fell to the ground, almost cried out for the alpha to come help him as every muscle in his body tensed up. He was shaking, and leaking; his muscles at his anus were spasming, waiting and prepping his body to be filled.

 _No! You can't let anyone found you like this, pathetic and useless._ Kylo gritted his teeth. _You've resisted the heat before, you can do it again!_ He told himself, pushing the memory of being tied to the bed to be bred liked a livestock off, picking himself up to his foot again. His left foot was bleeding again but he didn't care. There was a river nearby, it might be cold enough to hide his heat signature and his scent.

The sound of water flowing rapidly reached his ears before he was there. And when he emerged from the forest, he had to bite his lower lip in disappointment, he had missed calculated and took himself to the most dangerous part of this river. In this section it was large, deep, and very dangerous; the water flew rapidly with a killing speed. A giant wildlife could be drowned easily if they're not careful, and such creature had a size of three X-Wing fighters.

 _This is it._ Kylo thought, looking at the river. He didn't plan to be here, but he couldn't risk going back and get caught either. That alpha could be here any minute now.

 _This is it, this is the time I've to prove myself if I deserve a second chance._ He thought, walking shaking legs toward the riverbank, trying not to lean toward the trees for a support. _If I survive, I am worthy enough to the Dark Side. If not, then it's my last punishment for failing again and again._

Kylo inhaled deeply, before he pushed himself forward, and let himself fell to the water below.

"Ben!"

As the water embraced him with a violent touch and angry scream, Kylo thought he heard someone calling his old name, the name he had abandoned for a long time ago.

Then he was in the water, and it didn't hesitate to sink him and shake him with such fierce force. His grip on the Force was gone, and the only thing he had now was himself. He was alone, in the water that flew with a killing speed. He could hear nothing and see nothing. His lungs screamed for air while pain inflicted all around his body, dimming the heat as he was thrown around violently; hitting everything that was in the water.

His back hurt, his legs throbbed, he tried to curl into the ball to protect his head and his internal organ, but then the water threw him toward a giant rock. The impact made his head gone white for a few minute, and then he felt the water suddenly slowed down and someone hands were on him. Someone was lifting him up from the water.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"Ben!"

Poe shouted as soon as he realized what was Ben about to do. But it's too late, Ben let himself fell to the river behind, and Poe rushed forward. He could not see the body anywhere, as the river flew with such speed. His instinct screamed for him to save the omega.

Then, in the corner of his eyes, Poe saw a body resurfaced for a split second before it disappeared. He rushed down the riverbank, trying to catch up with it. He could say that he had never ran this fast before, as he felt the need to save Kylo Ren form his attempt to kill himself.

Luckily, the river didn't carry Kylo with it for a long way. It appeared that as the river separated into two parts, the larger one would continue to flow violently while the smaller part few peacefully with friendly speed for swimming, Kylo was floated to the more peaceful one.

Poe jumped down to get the omega out of the water. Kylo Ren seemed to be unconscious, and there were cuts on his left foot. The wounds weren't bleeding as Poe brought the omega out of the freezing cold water; he hoped it would stay that way. He could smell the heat and he knew that the next wave had hit.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_What happened?_

Kylo tried to think of the last thing he remembered. He jumped into the water, at first he was thrown around, hitting everything, and now he was not in the water anymore. He remembered the water slowing down and someone getting him out of the water.

Kylo gasped as a hand touched his face, a very warm hand. His omega instinct whimpered for him to let go of this self-torturing, and to just sink himself to the welcomed heat that come from someone besides him.

 _This is not happening!_ The conscious part of him whimpered in fear and desperation. _I'm not with that alpha! No! He isn't here! I'm not with him! I'm dying, yes, I am. I'm going to be dead soon, no more touch of care and light. No more pain, no more hope, no more lies…_

Then the hand placed firmer against his face and he had to bite back a whimper. He knew he was collapsing, he was going to lose himself to the light and to his omega instinct.

"Ben… Ben…"

The alpha was calling him, just like that alpha from a long time ago did. He knew this voice, he remembered it, and he knew who was holding him. The memories were resurfacing, but he had no strength left to resist anymore.

Memories of Poe Dameron flooded his mind, and Kylo Ren, no – Ben, whined as he let himself be embraced by the living light, his light, again.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"Ben…Ben..." Poe shook the unconscious omega in his arms gently. He had checked Ben's pulse, and was relieved that Ben was alive – even that his pulse was so weak. "…Ben… are you there? Ben!" He called, caressing the omega in his embrace, placing his hand firmer against the young face.

"Ben…" Poe called again, holding him tighter to his chest. He had a feeling that Ben was waking up, and he was right when Ben's eyes opened slowly. They were unfocused and filled with tear; Poe, instinctively, gently kissed them away. He always hated to see Ben cry.

The omega in his embrace whimpered, and Poe rumbled back in a soothing voice. He caressed Ben's hair, and hated how the omega's body temperature was a lot lower than how it should be.

Poe immediately got rid of Ben's wet clothes. He also get himself out of his jacket and shirt before holding Ben closer to him. The omega let himself be plastered against Poe's chest, moaning as the body heat made him felt better. However, as Poe was about to move to get them into a more comfortable position – Ben immediately tensed up, as if he thought Poe was going to leave him.

"Shh… it's okay, don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you." Poe whispered, caressing the omega in his embrace carefully. He had one arm around the omega's torso, while the other caressing his face.

"…the heat…" Ben whispered, so quiet that Poe nearly missed it. "Please….please…" The omega's voice was cracking from pain, exhaustion, and stress. Poe knew he had to give Ben a relief before they went back, he doubted that the ship would be able to find them quick enough for Ben. He did not wish to torture this omega any longer.

"I got you." Poe said gently, before he manhandled Ben to sit on his laps. Ben groaned, trying to rub himself against Poe's leg – moaning desperately. Poe could feel a warm slick leaking from Ben's ass, and he knew Ben was at his limit.

"I'm sorry, I will be gentler next time." Poe whispered, feeling bad that this sex would be fast, hard, and about knotting the omega as quick as possible. He had hoped that it would be better than the previous one. However, Ben had no time for foreplay, and Poe knew that. Besides, Ben needed a medical care as soon as he was settled down from the heat.

So, Poe just lift the omega up, making sure he was the one who support most of Ben's weight, and slammed himself into the waiting hole. Ben moaned and arched his back, presenting his neck for Poe to bite.

Poe growled before he slammed in two more times, and immediately quicken his pace as he found the area where he would make Ben screamed in pleasure.

Ben screamed in pleasure and writhed in his arms, still holding on to Poe's shoulders. Poe gritted his teeth and increased his speed. His knot was swallowing, and his instinct was blinding him with lust and the need to mate. Moreover, with the omega he had caught after what his alpha instinct recognized as 'the chase' presenting his neck in such submissive position liked this, it was going to be his last straw. He could feel his feelings collided and screamed at him to protect Ben, to love and care for him. He knew Ben had wanted this all along, wanted to mate with him, yet Poe wasn't sure why he was so certain about that. Maybe it was the Force, or maybe it was just his instinct. Or maybe it's both.

"Please," The omega sobbed, moaning from both pleasure and pain. "Please…please… please!"

Poe growled and slammed his knot passed the tight entrance in one go. Ben's muscle immediately cramped down on to the knot then he screamed and came. Poe howled and released into the tight warm heat, biting into the back of his hand to keep himself from biting – marking – Ben, even with a more primal part of him scream for him to be more aggressive and to savour the omega he won 'the chase', mating him and making him his. However, Poe pushed his instinct aside, telling himself that it wasn't going to work.

He kept the omega plastered with him through the release, letting Ben paint their stomach in white before the omega blacked out from both pleasure and pain.

Poe was panting as he hold the omega close while they were knotted together. Ben's head was on his shoulder, and Poe preferred it that way until the knot give out. His body was coming down from high, but his instinct was still the same. Right now, as the need-to-mate part was replaced by care and concern. There were many cuts along Ben's torso, arms and legs, probably his back too. Moreover, Ben was shaking, this time for the cold. Poe tried to hold him close, knowing that there was nothing he could do as they were tied together.

The medic ship arrived as soon as Poe was able to pull out of the sleeping omega. He had sent for a medical ship with droids on board only, couldn't risk himself attacking any medical staffs on instinct.

 

After they arrived to the manor, Poe was sent to take a warm shower and changed his clothes, as the medical droids tended to Ben Solo in the room not so far away. So, after taking care of himself, Poe went to the kitchen to grab something to eat and made contact with general Organa; he had cut the communication as soon as he reached the forest line. Now he should let her know the rest of the story, but kept the part he felt toward Ben only to himself. Just the part about Ben running away must had given her a headache already.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcomed. I'm all ear to what you guys want me to added into the next chapter ^^


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

Kylo Ren woke up with a nasty headache. Or, honestly, he ached all over. Every part of him hurt, especially his left leg and foot.

Kylo groaned, feeling a fabric surrounded him moved with his body; he was wrapped in a thick blanket. He was still very much in heat, but in the resting period between each waves.

_Where am I?_

He wondered, having a feeling that this was totally not the First Order's ship. He debated with himself for a few seconds before deciding that he needed to be up.

It was hard to force his eyes to open. And after letting his sight adjusted to the light, he started to see his surrounding bit by bit. The first thing he saw was white walls with curtains. Then he saw a medical robot walking around the bed, holding a holo-pad in its hand.

"Master Ben, you're awake."

A soft robotic voice called him from his side, making him abruptly turned toward the sort. Another medical robot was on his left, looking at him with its unhuman blue eyes.

_Master Ben?_

_I'm still with the Resistance._

The realization made Kylo grimaced, feeling anger and disappointment risen.

_I'm totally a kriffing failure, useless, weak – a trash no one wants._

_Unworthy of Lord Vader's guidance._

_Useless._

_Pathetic._

These two words echoed in his head, as Kylo looked around, ignoring the droid calling him. He was angry with himself for being such a pathetic, such a failure, a _piece of_ _trash_ who was worthy of nothing. He growled, covering his face with his hand, seeing only red and a storm of anger and disappointment.

"Master Ben, you have high fever, twisted left ankle, bruises, and small to medium scratches all over your body…"

Despite his rising anger, the medical droid went on with its smooth robotic voice. It describes each injuries Kylo had received, also the estimated time for them to heal and for Kylo to make a full recovery Moreover, despite his rising anger, this droid called him 'Ben' instead of 'Kylo Ren'.

Kylo immediately reached for the Force by habit, to use it to direct his anger to somewhere else, or just to release his anger. However, this time he was able to touch it but unable to use it. It surprised and scared him. He was able to touch the Force, to draw it into him, but it just disappeared when he tried to use it. He tried, again and again, drawing the Force into him, trying to use it to break anything – to release his anger – yet he failed again and again. The Force just disappeared right after he was able to call it into him. Moreover, it didn't just disappeared by flowing away from him, but lowing right into him – to the core of his body – and just _gone_.

"What…"

Kylo gasped; he was scared and confused. This had never happened to him before, and he was scared. He was scared more than when he could not reach for the Force. Typically, only drugs and heat could make him not feeling anything, but being able to sense it but could not use it was totally new for him. And he was scared because he didn't know what to do with this situation, how to fix his unstable body.

"...your hormones suggested that you are in deep stress, do you require a medicine…"

"No!" Kylo growled out, trying to lunge at the droid only to find that his body was so weak that all he could do was sit up. "Let me out of here." He hissed, looking around the room to see that it was well monitored. He was monitored.

"I'm sorry Master Ben, that request cannot be granted." The droid replied. "Master Dameron has given a strict order that you must not leave this room until he deems that you are better."

"Where is he?" Kylo asked, turning toward the monitor at one corners of the room. He had a feeling that Poe was watching. "I know you are watching!" He growled at the camera, before turning back at the droid to see it still watching at him quietly. He tried reach to the Force again, only to have it drained quickly after his attempt to Force push the medical droid away. This only had him only more and more frustrated.

Kylo wanted to scream, but he didn't want to look like a scared little kid more than he already did. So, instead of giving anymore outrage, he swung his legs off the bed, ignoring the pain that settled when he let his feet touch the ground. His left one was bandaged, and there were also a lot of bandages covered all the large scratches he had all over his legs and his body.

He pushed himself toward the wall, using the nearby medical carts for support. The medical droids watched him silently as he made his way toward one of the windows and pulled the curtains away.

Outside was dark, the forest looked peaceful while the sky was filled with million stars. Kylo let his hands settled on the cool glasses, looking out with a sigh. He wished he could use the Force to break out again, but this time he doubted he would be able to make it to the forest – if he could break the glass, of course.

"I think you should be in bed."

A familiar voice called from behind, Kylo slightly jumped as he abruptly turned around – ignoring the pain in his legs. Poe Dameron was at the door with a smile on his face.

Kylo didn't reply as he stared at the pilot. He tried to use the Force again, but it was drained away as soon as he intended to use it.

 _Must be his doing._ He mentally growled, staring at Poe. _He must has given me something to block me from using the Force. I have never expected him to be this sadistic, letting me feel it but not be able to use it._

"What did you give me?" Kylo said after he had concluded that it's must be Poe doing of while he could not use the Force. "What had you done?!" The omega shouted, looking for a weapon. Unfortunately, he could see nothing.

"I didn't do anything." The alpha said, holding both his hands up. "I just wanted to check on you."

"Liar!" Kylo spat, hanging onto his anger. _Well, why should he told me the truth? I've tried to escape once, and that's definitely not going to make the Resistance likes me more._

Despite his word, Poe just stayed calm. "Hey, calm down." The alpha said, looking at him with such calmness in his eyes. "I'm not going to touch you, okay? You will have your space and can throw the tantrum all you want. I will be near you only when your heat hit. And that's a promise."

A part of him believed Poe, and that calmed Kylo down a bit - relieved that he would have some spaces to himself. However, his omega part was whining and protesting that he should be near this alpha all the time, while the rest of him just snarled at Poe's word and promised a painful death for the pilot as soon as he got better.

"Get out of here." Kylo gritted out, putting all of his hate and anger into his stare. The alpha just shrugged and turned away, walking out of the room. The door slid shut with a soft swift sound, and a soft lock clicking in place was heard after that.

 _I'm fucked._ Kylo thought, knocking his head against the window behind before sliding down to the floor. He drew his knees toward his chest rested his head on them, trying his best to stop the tears from falling.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Poe walked slowly down the corridor toward the library of the manor. He was half confused and half frustrated. The first part of him was confused at why he felt as if he cared so much for Kylo Ren. Of course Kylo Ren was Ben Solo, but that didn't mean that he wasn't a traitor. Moreover, the other half of him was so frustrated with the stage Ben was in.

Poe sat down on one of the chair, sighing before covering his face with his hands.

 _This is so fucked up_.

Poe sighed, shaking his head before he got up. _Do not let your feeling into this, Poe. Get a grip!_ He growled at himself, before realized something important. _Wait, what did I just…_

_What feelings did I think I have for him?_

_Oh Force, this is not happening._

The alpha groaned, knocking his head with the back of the chair.

_I'm not having a feelings for Kylo Ren – Ben, whatever he is._

_I don't have feelings for him, I've never had feelings for him._

A beeping from the com-link snapped Poe out of his thought. He sighed in relieved before grabbing it, didn't even care whoever it was. _Well, there is only one person who can call me at this time._

A hologram of General Leia Organa appeared. She looked troubled and exhausted. Besides her was Doctor Allen, standing there with bags under his eyes and a very tired expression.

"General." Poe greeted them. "I'm about to call you." He said, knowing that it was a lie. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he had totally forgotten that he had to report to the beta general about her only son's condition. "He's conscious, but very angry at me." Poe simply said, looking at the hologram. "And I've reassure him that I will stay away for him, just likes what he wish, and will come near him only when the wave hit." He finished his sentence with a brief glancing toward the clock on the wall, estimating on how long before Ben's next wave hit.

'How is he doing?'

The general asked, and Poe felt guilty telling her what will make her heart ached. He knew she always loved her son just the same, but sometimes Kylo Ren's action was honestly unforgivable.

"He can walk, but not very far." Poe replied, trying to read her expression as he went on. "However, he had enough strength to call me a ' _liar_ ', so I guess he is very much going to recover soon."

'Very well,'

Doctor Allen nodded while General Organa said nothing. Poe had a feeling that she wanted to ask him more about Ben, but decided against it.

They exchanged a few word before the communication was cut. General Organa updated the situation at the base to him, assuring Poe that there was no need for him to be back soon.

After that Poe went to find something to eat. He thought about the events that just happened while chilling on his meal in a luxurious the kitchen. At first he was so angry at Kylo Ren, but now all he felt was frustration toward himself and concerns for the younger male in the house. Ben had been through a lot when he was a child. People usually mistook mental abuse for a simple pranks – something they thought children had to meet while they grow up, and most of them thought that physical abused was more dangerous and serious than mental abuse. And with Ben being a Force-sensitive who everything seemed to base on feelings and mind, this must had taken a huge effect on him. Poe wanted to know what Ben breaking point was - what cause him to snap and turn to the Dark side.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He still could not use the Force.

It had been three days since his attempt to escape. Kylo groaned as he felt the knot tug at his sensitive passage when alpha behind him shifted slightly to arrange both of them to a better sleeping position. He hadn't counted how many waves he had had. It was so intense and energy-draining. Never the less, Poe was true to his words. The alpha would come into the room when the new wave started, and then they would fuck without words. Poe would knot him and lay down beside him until the alpha was able to pull out. After that Kylo would not see him again until the next wave hit.

Normally, Kylo would have passed out right after he was knotted, but today he had gained some strength back. His fever had gone down, and his body was just slightly aching from the wounds he received earlier. To cut it short, this was the first time he didn't pass out right after he was knotted.

Back to the question at hand, Kylo was very scared and frustrated that he could not use the Force. It was drained from him every time he tried to use it. He could feel it, could draw it to him, but he couldn't control it to do anything.

"What did you do to me?" He heard himself asked out loud, too tired to guess that what Poe had given him. "What medicine _did_ you give me? I've never heard of a medicine that can make Force-user unable to use their power before, except for sedatives."

The alpha took a while to answer. It might be because he just went down from high and needed to spend more times to process the question. However, Kylo Ren preferred to see it as Poe trying to make up a story of why he wasn't the one giving Kylo anything.

"I haven't do anything with your power." The alpha simply said, and to Kylo's disappointment – he knew that the alpha was telling the truth. If he was concentrating enough, he could tell when a person is lying; but Poe didn't lie. "To be frank, I even think that you will Force-choke me. You seem to be a person who have something for violence." The alpha added, teasing, and Kylo rolled his eyes.

"It's the best strategy to get someone to talk." He bit back, hating his voice for sounding liked a small child pouting. "Also, not everything has to be physical." He added, smirking as he remembered how he ended up plugging himself into Poe's mind, then pulled the information about the map to Luke Skywalker right from the pilot's memory.

"Yeah, I remember that." Poe replied, voice sounding as if he was frowning. "You're quite a cruel man, you know."

Kylo chuckled at Poe's statement. He had never considered that before. Those Stormtroopers preferred to call him a 'maniac' behind his back than cruel. Well, it was half true that he took pleasure in torturing someone – to feel the power of being all above someone. Nevertheless, he didn't prefer to use this strategy every time he wanted anything. There was sometimes Kylo was just a simple human, trying to catch up with the world around him.

"By the way…" The alpha trailed of, Kylo had a feeling that Poe was up to something. "…how did you join Snoke? I mean, what made you join the First Order and killed all of the Jedis?"

Kylo was stunned by Poe's question. No one had asked him this before. Well, no one had never wanted to know about him anyway. They just wanted him to complete his mission.

"It gives me freedom." Kylo replied. "Light is a lie, a huge one." He added bitterly.

"How? Care to clarify?" Poe sincerely asked, and Kylo Ren was frustrated even more.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kylo growled weakly; he was too tired to do anything more. "The Light tells you to conceal your emotion, your true feelings. Darkness let you embrace them all." He explained, thinking of the first time he had released all the tension and stressed he had over years out for the first time. It was so refreshing, so addicting. Kylo knew he had been concealing his anger toward the world for a long time, so he wasn't hesitated to let them all out when he had a chance.

"It makes me feel _free_." He continued, voice quieter as he savoured his happy memory of when he found out what releasing the anger felt like. "I can be free from any name I have, any name I was called." Kylo added, closing his eyes. He knew he was going to fall asleep soon.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Poe didn't say anything back after Kylo finished explaining about why he turned to the Dark side. He thought about what Kylo had said, and let the omega had a peaceful sleep.

The best pilot of the Resistance walked out of Kylo's room after he was able to pull out. He had decided to move Kylo to one of the bedrooms and made sure it looked like a real bedroom than a medical bay or a prison. He wanted Ben – Kylo – or whoever the omega was, to be as comfortable as possible. It's so strange that as time had passed, Poe felt as if he cared more and more about Ben. He wasn't going to say that it's an attraction, or love, or anything - but it was definitely something. There was definitely something between them.

 

"Mr. Dameron, may I interrupt?"

A medical droid called him as Poe was frying something on the pan. He had found many ingredients in the fridge, so he decided to make something useful out of it.

"What is it?" Poe asked, turning his attention from the stove to the droid who was standing at the doorway with a charge in its metallic hand.

"I've taken Master Ben's blood sample to estimate how long his heat will last." The droid spoke, walking toward Poe. "And I've found something you might want to look at."

"Alright?" Poe raised his eyes, taking the charge from the droid. On the screen was a list of hormones and other stuffs found in Ben's blood. "So…" he scanned the screen, and had no idea he was looking at. "…what am I looking at? What's wrong?"

"His Midi-chlorians count is dropping." The droid replied. "It was normally around 10,000 to 10,500… but right now it is around 2,400 per cell, lower than normal human's count."

"What…" Poe frowned, looking at the charge. "…what does this mean? Is he sick?" The alpha asked, thinking about when Kylo demanded Poe gave him back his ability to use the Force.

"I don't think so, sir." The droid replied. "There is still another explanation."

"What is it?" Poe asked, paying close attention to the droid. He had a feeling that the assumption from this medic droid would probably surprise him, yet he wasn't prepare for what the droid was truly going to say.

"Master Ben is pregnant, sir."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no beta for this chapter. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Sorry it took me too long to update TwT

 

 

 

"Master Dameron sir," the medical droid continued despite Poe's expression. "Do you know why force-user born from an omega mother is always stronger than force-users born from beta or alpha mother?"

"I… I don't know." Poe frowned. "And how does this connect to Ben's Midi-chlorian count decreasing?"

"There is a special channel in omega's womb that made the offspring able to receive Midi-chlorians directly from its mother, despite waiting for Midi-chlorian from the Force alone. This is another reason why omegas usually give the healthiest offspring." The droid said as it pulled information on the hologram.

"The offspring will start receiving Midi-chlorians from the mother as soon as it was implanted into the endometrium – the inner wall of the womb. However, the omega's body will start redirecting its Midi-chlorians to the wall of its womb as soon as the fertilization is completed. That is why when taking sample from Master Ben's blood, his Midi-chlorians count is so low." The droid pulled each pictures explaining omega's body up as he spoke. "Master Ben's Midi-chlorians will be surrounding his womb and slowly transporting into the child as the pregnancy progresses, and end when he goes into labour. After the child is born, his Midi-chlorians count will restore to normal within a week."

"How is this even possible?" Poe shook his head. "Doctor Allen said that he was infertile." He stated, looking at the droid as if he was trying to make sure it didn't just lie to him.

"Force-users' recovering is unusual." The medical droid simply replied, pulling up more information to confirm its words. "There were many Force-users who were deemed infertile from injuries, drugs, and other causes. Yet sixty percent of them made an unbelievable recovering when no one thought they could. To cut it short, they became fertile again after some period of time given after the causes of their infertility were treated and cured."

"Wait…so… Ben just became fertile again? Is it right?" Poe held both his hands up as he asked, feeling like he need to stop and gather his thought.

"Yes," the droid nodded. "I estimated that he has conceived three days ago."

"Oh, Force." Poe groaned, closing his eyes. "Are you one hundred percent sure about this?"

"About his fertility or his conceiving, Master Poe?"

"About his pregnancy." Poe replied, feeling like his world just turn upside down.

"I am ninety-six percent sure, Master Poe. There is little to no chance of why his Midi-chlorians count has decreased this fast." The droid said. "But I can do more test on him after the heat ends."

"Okay." Poe sighed, feeling exhausted already. "Is there anything more?"

"No sir," The medical droid shook its head steadily, so Poe dismissed it and the droid resumed its daily routine.

"Okay, get a grip Poe." The alpha said to himself after the droid was gone. He sighed and picked up his dinner which he had somehow finished cooking as he listened to the medical droid. "Now, now, first thing first. You eat, take a shower and get change, then call general Organa." Poe said to himself as he chewed on his meal. The alpha was not very hungry right now, but he knew he needed to eat.

After finishing the meal, Poe went to shower and change into something decent to speak to the general. Then he went to the library and called the base.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kylo Ren woke up with a groan. He was still exhausted from the heat, which hadn't showed any kind of ending yet. His body was still aching and sore, but at least the wounds on his leg and foot were healing properly.

That alpha, Poe Dameron, was nowhere to be found. _Well, maybe that's probably for the best._

Kylo shook his head and closed his eyes, deciding to get more sleep.

Since his latest attempt to escape, Kylo had been having a problem with the Force. He could still feel it, but just the same – he could not use it. It had him frustrated for days at first, then down right to miserable for a few days from being rejected by Lord Vader, then being rejected by the Force itself. Surprisingly, it's the heat that helped keep his sanity in place despite the disappointed and terrible outcome of himself after the heat began.

Yet when each waves hit, he couldn't think of anything else except the pleasure of being bred. It scared and disgusted him at first, to let himself having a pleasure with something so primal - so animalistic. And after a several futile attempt to ignore the pleasure the heat had given him, Kylo completely gave up and let his biology took control. He let himself drifted in and out of conscious, swimming in the sea of pleasure and need. He even tried not to think about the First Order, Lord Vader, and the other Knights of Ren.

Normally Kylo would try to get as much sleep as possible before the next wave hit, yet today he felt different. His head was clearer, and also his mind. He was still tired, but now his thought was sharp and less covered by fog of lust. This had the omegas blinked, before grinning when he realised the heat was almost over.

 _Yes, finally! After days, weeks!_ He thought happily as he let himself rested. In his head was already a plan to escape once the heat had ended and he got his ability to use the Force back. _I will have to escape while they are transporting me back to the prison. There will be ships, transporters. Then I will make them pay._ The omega thought as he smiled, ignoring a strange voice telling him from the back of his mind that something was wrong. Something should be done before he was out of the heat, yet Kylo didn't know what it was and didn't care.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poe was having a hard time deciding what to do next. Ben's heat had affected him as well; it was draining his strength and made him unable to think clearly.

Days ago he had discussed with general Organa about what the medical droid suggested; that Ben might be pregnant. After a long discussion, the general had decided that they would take Ben in for further check-up after the heat end. So, right now Poe was torn between wanting to tell Ben what the medical droid suggested, or just kept it quiet. General Organa had left it to him to decide should he tell Ben about the medical droid's theory or not.

 _I should let him know, or he will keep asking me about it and ended up being angrier. Yeah, angry Kylo Ren is worse than normal Kylo Ren._ Poe thought, looking out of the window and found that the beautiful view outside didn't help easing the turmoil in his mind. _But…then I will have to deal with him knowing he is pregnant with my child, our child._

The thought of having a child was strange to him. Since he had been participating in a galactic war for a long time, Poe had up on having a kid of his own. Yet, having a child with Ben Solo was another story. It was almost alien to him because he had concluded that if he wanted to have a family, it would be a normal one. Maybe with an unmated omega of in the Resistance. Never had he thought of mating with general Organa's son, let alone a person who had betrayed the Jedi order and allied himself with the First Order.

Poe knew it's going to be very difficult for Ben if he was pregnant without being mated. If Ben wasn't pregnant, they would be separating right after the heat ended. But like this, the pregnancy was going to be hell for Ben. Omegas naturally needed a bond when they're pregnant, so they could ensure their child would be nurtured in case the omegas died at the birth. Moreover; Poe had heard that for omega Force-user, it would be even harder for them to endure pregnancy without a mate. He had heard that despite Midi-chlorian decreasing in a shocking pace, they would also suffer other pregnancy's sickness, likes nausea and vomiting – morning sickness, which would be doubled from normal omegas when pregnant.

"It's now or never." Poe grunted, before grabbing the pad and called the medical droid.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kylo sat on his bed. He didn't feel like sleeping anymore, but didn't feel like leaving the bed either. He was thinking about something he just felt this morning. It's a need, another need despite the lust from the heat. Well, it's a need that included an alpha, but not in just a lustful way. No, this time he didn't feel like he want some alpha to fuck him. He needed Poe. And he needed Poe more than for sex.

"What is happening to me?" Ben groaned, gripping his hair. This time he felt the longing for Poe, and it's worse than lusting after that alpha. He felt like he wanted Poe here, with him.

_I want that alpha to actually mate me, claiming me._

_No, this can't not be happening._

_This cannot kriffing happening._

Kylo covered his face as realization hit him of how he really needed the alpha. His first reaction was pure shock, then came anger and disgust toward himself.

' _Jedi? You're an omega kid, there is no way you're going to be a good Jedi. You will end up in heat and let have those Stormtrooper fuck you instead. Aren't purpose of omegas is to be bred and pumped out pups?'_

' _Stop dreaming kids, there is no way you're going to be as good as your grandfather. You're not even an alpha.'_

' _Master Anakin Skywalker was an alpha, kid, stop dreaming.'_

' _Let me guess, your best strategy is to pretend to be a whore and let them fuck you so you can split their throats?'_

' _Hey, don't even try, soon enough you will be fucked and bred anyway. Good luck pumping out pups.'_

' _Aren't you born to be whore and horny?'_

' _Damn, I could not imagine while they thought it's a good idea to have an omegas around here.'_

All those disgusting words from his former classmate at Luke Skywalker's Jedi academy rushed back to him. They were what he had been buried deep inside himself for so long. He didn't know what make them say such a thing toward him. He had concluded that it's because his parents and his status as an omega.

He was the only omegas in the class, also at the top of the class. There were a few of his classmates who befriended with him, others would just mock him with those disgusting smirk. Kylo knew they were jealous, he could feel their thought. Yet he had never mentioned this to Luke Skywalker. He didn't want to be a snitch or something, and being general Organa's son meant that he must be strong. He had to be strong. So he just kept all of this to him alone.

_Their faces when I split their throats were magnificent._

So he pulled another memory up, the Jedi massacre. Kylo smiled, drinking in his memory as he tried to fend of those unpleasant ones. He knew it happened a long time ago, but it still hurt. Well, at least it wasn't as bad as the first time he heard them though.

Nevertheless, thinking of the past made him wondering back to when he was a child. He faced the same thing at the base, without his mother knowing because he was afraid they would see him as weak and incapable of dealing with his own problems. He knew his mother had already had a lot of responsibilities on her shoulder, so he didn't want her to worry about him. He had tried to be strong, to be good, and to be able to endure it. Yet sometimes it was too much for him, and it made him cried, which leaded him to meet an alpha – one of the best alpha he had never met. Said alpha found him when he was crying and wasn't reluctant to comfort him. He also helped shutting some of those racist alphas and betas off.

And then, that alpha just disappeared. Kylo had heard that he had a girlfriend. It shocked him as same as angered him. Maybe it's because he had a slight crush on that alpha or anything, so he was downright depressed and weeping a little. After that he gathered himself up and pretended that nothing had happened before moving on with lingered melancholy he always did his best to ignore.

 _I even tried to forget his name and his face, and it seems like I had succeeded. Well, being ignored when I needed him wasn't a good thing to remember anyway. Being ignored kriffing hurt more than being mocked._ Kylo thought with a sad smile as he moved on to other memories.

So, after years of training and receiving those racist ward nearly every day at the Jedi Temple, he had accidentally met a former Sith lord. Well, at first said Sith wanted him to be called as 'an old master', yet Kylo was able to recognize the Sith from the data of the Sith and Jedi he had been studied on. It's Darth Maul, and he was very old. Unlike anything he had thought about Sith, Maul did show compassion toward him. The old Zabrak told him he knew how it felt to be looked down on, to be dejected. At first Kylo didn't trust him, but Maul somehow understood how he felt and what he had endured. That's how he was leaded, by Maul, to meet Snoke.

Snoke offered him a freedom from everything he had to endure. A freedom to express what he really felt instead said nothing and pretended that he heard those racist words from people around him every day. To become someone he could be, not someone he supposed to be.

Most nights, Kylo would sneak out of the temple to train with Maul. The Zabrak told him many thing he had never known, mostly the way of a Sith, and sometimes the old Sith would be kind enough to tell him the story of the galaxy before the clone wars. Even letting Kylo saw the galaxy before the clone wars, and during said war, through his memories. And while Kylo dug through Maul's memories, that he had seen his grandfather. Both when he was Anakin Skywalker, and when he was Darth Vader. Maul had secretly served under Lord Vader for years, and left Coruscant after the Rebel won the war against the Empire. He saw many worlds Maul had travelled to, and the planet he was on when he hid from the Jedi.

One night, after their sparring which ended with Kylo's victory, Maul declared that he had nothing more to teach Kylo. So it's now Kylo's choice to choose his life from now on. He could go back to the Jedi temple and pretended that nothing between them had happened, or he could take a new lightsaber from Maul and get rid of those people who had been insulting him for years.

Kylo grabbed the lightsaber and left with the rest of the Knights of Ren who had been patiently waiting for him.

That was the first night he actually felt free from every burdens and everything. And it's so good he didn't care that he might be addicted to it. It gave him peace in his mind, and he would not let anyone took it away.

"Master Ben, sir."

A robotic voice pulled him back to the present. Kylo grimaced and turned to face a medical droid walking into his room. The same robot which had been tending to him for days since he was brought back.

"What is it?"

Kylo asked, rubbing his face. He was suddenly feeling so exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get more sleep. Yet the droid's word made him paused as he started reaching for a pillow.

"Master Ben, I've found the cause of why you cannot use the Force."

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poe paced around the library patiently. He had decided that having the medical droid told Ben would be best than telling Ben himself. He couldn't imagine how he was going to do that, and having a medic told this kind of thing to Ben was even more reasonable. So, now he waited and hoped that Ben wouldn't tear the medical droid apart as soon as he knew.

Then a wave of emotions hit him. It made Poe stumbled and grabbed on a bookshelf to support himself.

A wave of anger, shock, and sadness stormed through his head. Poe knew that these emotion belonged to Ben, and he wasn't surprised.

Yet what surprised him was that despite anger Poe had thought he would feel from Ben, what came after a wave of messed and mixed emotions was not anger. They were pensive sadness and depression.

At first Poe would let Ben cool down, in the case Ben was angry; something Poe had predicted that the omega would 100% become. But with sadness and depression instead of anger, it had him rushed toward Ben's room.

_I'm truly a useless omega._

'… _Aren't purpose of omegas is to be bred and pumped out pups?'_

_I'm useless._

'… _soon enough you will be fucked and bred anyway. Good luck pumping out pups.'_

_Useless._

_Pathetic._

_Disappointment._

_Born to be fucked and bred. Born to have children and then repeat the cycle. Nothing more._

_Useless._

_Pathetic._

_Wasting time._

_Useless._

The closer Poe was to Ben, the more he could hear Ben's thought. He saw some pictures and heard more voice which didn't belong to Ben. They were probably belonged to those young Jedis when Ben was at the Jedi temple. The face of those who had insulted him, and then it was every memory about people who had insulted Ben rushing through the omega's mind.

 

 

The door slid opened softly as Poe was in front of the room. Ben's feeling still covered him like wet clothes and weights on his shoulders, and the omega was getting worst as second passed.

Ben was on the bed, sitting still with wide eyes and tear falling from them. The droid was trying to get Ben to respond but there was no use. Ben was not with them, buried deep in his memories.

"Ben… Ben." Poe called the omega's name as he climbed onto the bed. Ben didn't respond, until Poe touched his shoulder. Ben immediately turned toward him, tears still running down his cheeks.

"Ben." Poe called again as Ben still hadn't replied him. "Ben, are you alright?"

"I…" Ben gulped, blinking. "…I… you…"

"Yes?" Poe squeezed Ben's shoulder lightly, to make sure Ben still with him. However, he hadn't prepared for what came next.

"You…you are that alpha?"

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories everywhere, pictures and words which made him wanted to cry. No, it already made him cry.

Suddenly he was at the old base of the Resistance again, walking alone in a cold corridor. Alone and frightened. Voices surrounded him, just like the day he was crying from harsh words of people who wished to kick him away as soon as his mother was gone. Cold voices expressed and sneered the owners' disgust toward him.

There was a door leaded to an empty conference room nearby, and he immediately pushed it open. All he knew now was that it's going to be empty, not a very good place when you wanted to cry your heart out but he didn't want to go any further. It's too risky, he might run into other people.

So, he went in and close the door, went to the corner to sit there to cry.

Then someone came in and touched his shoulder.

Kylo Ren perked turned his head toward that person, and then he was back to the bedroom of the old mansion he once lived in.

_No, this is real._

"Ben…"

That alpha was calling him, with the same voice of the alpha he had tried to forget.

Something clicked in his head.

_Poe Dameron is that alpha._

"I…" He gulped, blinking, wasn't sure what to do. "…I… you…"

"Yes?" Poe squzzed his shoulder lightly, and Kylo had to fight the urge to lean into the alpha beside him. So he asked what he had just found out instead.

"You…you are that alpha?" He asked, blinking again. "You're… yes you are." He murmured to himself. He could feel something blooming in his chest, yet he wasn't sure what it was.

"Me?"

The alpha besides him raised his eyebrows. He looked confused.

"You helped me." Kylo said quietly, almost whispering. He felt like he was telling himself the truth more than telling Poe. "You… the day I was crying in that conference room."

"Oh,"

That made Poe remembered. The alpha smiled at him, but Kylo was still too deep in his thought to notice. The present time was coming back to him as his memories faded away to be a background music behind his messing thoughts. Then he realised that he was pregnant, with Poe's child.

Kylo could feel his anger rising, he felt as if he was going to split fire.

"You knocked me up." He said, voice turned cold and filled with wrath. "You…you put this thing in me!"

"Hey, whoa…" Poe immediately held both his hands up. "…hey… I… Yes… I did. But no one knew you're fertile."

"That…." Kylo gasped, staring at Poe. His hands were shaking. Half of him was filled with anger, while his more 'natural' side – his omega side – was squealing with joy because the mate was a success. Moreover, it was even telling him to bare his neck and let Poe bit him.

 _There is already a slight bond, half created by the child in his womb, linking us together. Just one bit at an omega's scent glad and we will be tied together forever._ His instinct whispered, yet Kylo mentally growled at it.

 _Without alpha's hormone, this pregnancy is going to be hell._ Despite his angering side, his omega instinct kept whispering to him, urging him to tell Poe to bond them together, but Kylo resisted it. He growled, showing Poe his teeth. An unvocal way to tell Poe to leave him alone.

"Get out." Kylo growled. "Get out!" He shouted, almost sounded like he was crying, didn't expect Poe to do as he said. Yet the alpha stood up and walked out like nothing had happened, and now Kylo was alone in the room.

He pulled his knees toward himself, placing his hands on them. His omega side was howling angrily as why he didn't just do something right by let them bond correctly. And the other side of himself was distressed and depressed.

_What should I do with the child?_

_Why didn't I let him bond me?_

_What should I do with it? I can't have it! I can't go back to the First Order with this thing in me._

_Why did I make him leave? What did I just do?_

_This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening!_

_What should I do? How can I go one like this?_

_This cannot be happening. What should I do?_

Kylo hugged himself and let his tears fell down. He could not remember how many time he had cried already, but he was sure this wasn't going to be the last.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

It had been 24 hours since Kylo's heat had ended. But that alpha still came in to check on him. Kylo didn't speak or talk to that man, he kept it quiet and Poe did the same. It should be better this way, but Kylo had no idea while his heart arched so badly. His body wanted Poe to stay – to mark him. He knew every omega needed their mates' pheromone or at least a mark, because those two would help stimulate the hormones important for decreasing the side effects of the pregnancy such as morning sickness. But Kylo didn't want them. He wanted himself to suffer for being pathetic.

Kylo wondered what they would do to him after this. Maybe they might put him back in prison, no doubt. He had been nothing but a thorn in their asses. Most people of the Resistance wanted him dead except the intelligence. They would want Kylo to speak and he was going to say nothing. He wouldn't give them what they wanted.

 

The droid entered with a plate of food. Kylo watched as it set the plate on a table in the corner of the room. The servant droid then walked out. Several seconds later, the medical droid walked in. Kylo was sure that if he could use the Force, he would have torn the medical droid to pieces right after it told him about the pregnancy.

"Master Ben." The droid said, walking toward the bed with a small device. Time for blood examination again. "May I collect…"

"Go on." He cut it off, held out his hand. The droid nodded and clapped the device over one of his fingers. Kylo felt a tinge of pain as the device work. After that the droid put the device away.

"Thank you for your cooperation Master Ben, should you need any assistances…"

"Leave me alone." Kylo growled, and the medical droid stepped back before it turned and exited the room in silence.

He barely touched his food, only when he felt like he really needed them. That alpha had been eyeing the plate every time he walked in to find them still full or barely touched. Nevertheless, Poe didn't say anything and Kylo was grateful for that. The last thing he wanted was the alpha started telling him what to do.

Kylo decided to kill time by reading. This room had a bookshelf and lots of books. It reminded him of his childhood, when he would go to a summerhouse with his…past family. There was library full with books, it seemed to be so long ago.

He drifted off at some point with a book on his chest and woke up in time for dinner.

 

 

"I don't know what to do with him, ma'am," Poe sighed, massaging his temple as he stared at the hologram of General Organa. "He just…he refused to eat. He did eat, actually, but so little of it. I'm afraid he is trying to starve himself."

His boss sighed. She looked so tired. Poe felt sorry for her. A woman her age should have a peaceful life, at least peaceful than hers.

No one said anything for a moment, just staring into the blankness ahead of them.

"We will have to keep this a secret," General Organa said. Her voice quiet. Poe looked up, meeting her eyes. "Just for now," she sighed.

"But exactly how long?" Poe asked. He would be gone right after Ben's, or Kylo Ren's, heated end. As much as he didn't want to think about it, Ben was carrying his child. And his Alpha instinct had started kicking in for him to protect them. "We haven't bounded, but General… I start to feel...it's hard to pretend that the child in his womb is not mine."

"I understand," General Organa nodded. "Just for now. We will talk again after you and Ben are back at the base."

"Understood."

And then the hologram was cut off. Poe sighed and laid down on the couch and tried to forget the fact that Ben was pregnant with his child.

 

 

 

 

A transporter arrived at midnight. Poe was glad that there were only droids and betas on board. He didn't know how he would react if there were alphas on the same ship that would transport Kylo and him back to the base.

It's tricky to get Kylo out. The medical droid had to pretend that it wanted to collect blood sample but in fact injected a dose of heavy sedative. So now Ben was sleeping fondly on a medical bed and was being loaded on to the ship. The medical droid followed, and Poe around the place for the last time to make sure they hadn't missed anything.

"Mr. Dameron!" A male beta called him, he's the captain of the ship. "We're ready to go, sir."

"Good, let's get out of here," he said and sat down on the chair, eyeing the medical bed which was on the other side of the ship. The beta doctors were surrounding it. Poe picked up one of them murmuring that Ben was too thin, and the other said that he might be trying to starve himself to get rid of the child.

 

 

They arrived at the base after several hours. Doctor Allen and General Organa was at the platform, waiting for their arrival.

As Ben was being wielded into the base, surrounding by a group of guards and doctors, Poe and General Organa walked after them slowly.

"He will be awake soon," General Organa said. "I… I know he's not going to cooperate." Poe knew she just wanted to tell him, not that she wanted his opinion or anything, but he felt like he should say something back.

"He said that the dark side made him feel free." Poe spoked up. "Or he might just be tricked, I don't know. I still remember him when he was a child."

The beta turned to look at him and smiled, patching Poe's shoulder softly. "Thank you Mr. Dameron."

They walked side by side into the base. Poe parted way with her to get back to his duty once they were inside the building. He had no idea what would happen next, nor would he had a chance to see Ben again.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**A month later**

 

"Okay…" Poe said, almost sighing. "Keep calm everyone, keep calm,"

"I am calm!" Snap said through the comm. "This is just…well…it's disgusting." His friend murmured through the comm, Poe fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Commander…" Jess started to complain and Poe did sigh.

"I said keep calm!" Poe hissed through the comm. Okay. Snap had a slight fear of tentacles, and Jess sometimes freaked out when she saw something slimy, and these things just happened to have both slimy stuff and tentacles. They were Blixuses, half-shelled creatures that seemed like they wanted to eat everything that moved. Normally they didn't vomit slimy green stuff, but this group of Blixuses seemed to be sick.

"Remind me again of why we have to escort Blixuses to their destination?" Jesse complained through the comm. "I feel like I'm going to vomit."

"You two are overreacting." Poe shook his head. He was glad that the rest of his squad weren't have a problem liked these two. "And we're escorting these lovely creature to their new home because that will gain us cooperation and trust from the King of this planet. We need every help we can get. If you don't like them, don't look at them. I can't believe you two passed the pilot academy test."

"Why the King's favourite animals have to be a Blixuses," Snap still complained. "In the academy I haven't had to look at them! And now I can't look away because my position is behind the transporting ship!"

"Same here! There was no Blixus in the test!" Jesse said, murmuring something about disgusting green stuff. Poe felt like smacking both of his friends behind their heads.

They're on the mission, a very simple escort mission, to protect the ship that transport a group of Blixuses. However, the cages to keep these animals were visible of all side and were locked at the belly of the ships, so the X-wings that flew behind the transport ships would have a nice view of the Blixuses wiggling around in their cages.

 

It had been a month since Poe last saw Ben Solo. To say that he missed the omega would be too much, but he did feel something. It's a slight pull, as if there was a connection between them. A very weak one. Sometimes it made Poe felt unease, but sometimes it calmed him down. However, most of the time it stayed quiet and Poe happily ignored it. He buried himself with works and missions, so he didn't have to think about Ben, or what was happening to the omega.

Suddenly, as Poe was landing his X-wings, he felt a sharp pain as if someone was knocking his head against something hard. The pain happened for a slight second and Poe was glad he had BB-8 taking control of most of the landing, or else he would have rammed the ship straight at the engineers who were running toward them. BB-8 asked if he was okay.

"I'm alright, just, give me a minute," Poe said to BB-8, shaking his head. The droid didn't believed it and insisted that Poe must go to the medical wing after sending the reports.

Poe wrote his report quickly and went to the mission room to drop it out when he felt the pain again. This time it's at his abdomen. It's not some kind of stomached, but more like someone was trying to cut him open. He gasped and staggered to the side, breathing hard. BB-8 rolled around him, asking if he was okay and that it's ready to go call a doctor if Poe needed them. The pain was suddenly gone, just like how it started.

"I can walk." Poe replied. "Maybe I've hit my head during some flights, I need to get my brain checked up." He suspected that there must be something wrong with his pain receptors or the part of his brain that processed the signal. However, deep down Poe felt like it wasn't about his brain or his nervous system.

 

"Everything seems fine, Mr. Dameron." The doctor said as Poe was slowly exported out of a scanner. "Your vital signs are normal. Nothing seems to be the problem."

"Then how come I felt those pains?" Poe shook his head. BB-8 rolled around the bed he was on, warbling its concern.

"Maybe you're too stressed," the doctor said, already picking up a datapad of the next patient. "Come back if it gets worse. Right now I can only suggest you a good meal and a goodnight sleep."

"That sounds good," Poe murmured and thanked the doctor before walking out of the room. BB-8 rolled ahead of him and kept looking back to see if he's still there. "I'm fine buddy," Poe murmured, walking forward. He thought about calling Finn. They're assigned to the different base but they still kept in touch. However, he remembered that Finn was sent on a mission and probably wouldn't be back yet.

 

The cafeteria was as lively as usual. Jess and Snap waved for him and Poe joined them. Dinner passed quickly and Poe went on with his routine. He checked his ship, making sure everything was perfect before going back to his room. Being a commander meant he had his own bathroom, which was good because Poe didn't want to spending ten minutes every day waiting in the line to get into the communal shower room.

He threw his shirt to the basket at the corner of the room, leaving his boots at the door. BB-8 rolled to its corner and prepared to shut down and charge during the night.

Normally Poe would have a dreamless sleep, but not tonight. This night he dreamed.

 

At first Poe couldn't make out anything except the silver-grey colour that surrounded him. _It looked so metallic._ Poe blinked and then found himself in a small room with no window. There was a table, and there was a man lying on it – chained to it. A man in prisoner clothes with a large cut on his forehead and a large bleeding wound on his abdomen. Blood was everywhere on the table.

It's Ben Solo, and he was even thinner than when Poe last saw him. Ben appeared to be asleep and Poe moved close to the table. Then, the other opened his eyes and stared at Poe. There was no malice nor hate, only pain.

"Help me"

Ben whispered, there were tears in his eyes. And then Poe woke up.

 

 

 

 

Poe went straight to the command room as soon as he finished his morning routine before breakfast. BB-8 rolled after him, grumbled in frustration that Poe didn't tell it anything. The best pilot in the galaxy knew that he might be overreacting, but he had a string feeling that he must seek out General Organa as soon as possible.

"Mr. Dameron?"

"General," Poe bowed slightly at his boss who just entered the room. "I need to talk to you, in private."

General Organa raised her eyebrows but said nothing. She turned to the door that leaded to an empty corridor and Poe followed.

"What is it Poe?" General Organa asked. She knew he wouldn't just come to find her this early without an emergency.

"I dreamt about Ben, last night." Poe spoke, getting right to the point. "He's hurt, bleeding. He's in pain. I knew that this might be stupid but I've a feeling that I need to tell you. And also, yesterday, I felt like someone was cutting my forehead and my abdomen. The pains were at the same place that I saw Ben's wounds in my dream."

General Organa was quiet after he finished. Poe hoped that she wouldn't think that this was stupid.

"Come with me Commander," the old beta said. Her expression was unreadable but Poe did saw concerns in her eyes. "Did you have mission today?"

"I haven't gone to the mission room yet,"

"Good," General Organa nodded. "Come with me, we're going to the prison."

"The prison?" Poe raised his eyebrows. "The prison that…holds him?"

"Yes," General Organa nodded. "The Force is a strange thing, Poe." She called him by his name now. "It's…complicated. But it links people together whether you feel it or not. When Han or Luke were in pain, I could feel it. Not as much as what they're experienced, but enough to tell that they're not doing well."

Then Poe remembered that Han Solo was dead, by his son's hand. But General Organa still loved him, loved that monster. It left a bad taste in his mouth to think that…to think that he felt Ben's pain, and that they might be connected.

"You're saying that…I am connected to…him?"

"In some way, yes," General Organa said. Now Poe saw where they're heading; the hanger bay. "You knew him before he became Kylo Ren. You spent time with him during his heat. The heat cycle is also a bonding period between two persons."

"But I didn't mark him," Poe said, confused. "How is this possible that we are connected?"

"Liked I have said, the Force is a strange thing," General Organa sighed. "You might not have marked him, but the connection is there. Ben is a Force sensitive, and that meant sometimes he will act on instinct. You took good care of him during his heat, so his instinct deem you trustable. He might subconsciously seek for you when he's in pain. Luke had done that some times in the past."

They're at the hanger now. General Organa's personal pilot seemed to be surprised to see her there.

"General?" the man asked, standing up from where he was sitting with other pilots.

"Take us to Dotator II," the beta said, holding her hand up to cease all question. "It's private and serious matter. Tell General Runax to takeover while I'm on this personal business. Relieve Commander Dameron from any duties until he's back. And call for my personal guards."

"Yes ma'am," the pilot quickly jogged toward the ship to prep for taking off. Behind them, Poe saw General Organa's personal guards running into the hanger.

 

 

The trip to Dotator II was short, and quiet. It's a remote planet where the Resistance had established several secret bases there. And one of them was carefully designed to hold prisoners, especially the First Order's spies.

"General Organa?" General Tart, the head of the prison was surprised to see them. Nevertheless, despite his bad leg, the beta still went to greet them at the platform. "I haven't heard that you will be coming…"

"I'm sorry that I haven't notify you first, General Tart. I was in hurry." General Organa said, walking pass the old man toward the building. Her personal guards surrounded them as they walked. Poe was walking behind her, BB-8 followed after him closely.

"Indeed," General Tart nodded. "So…your business here…"

"I need to see Kylo Ren," General Organa said. "Where is he?"

"He's in the East Wing, General," the male beta replied. "And may I ask why you brought him?" he gestured toward Poe who was silent since the ship had landed.

"They're connected since Kylo had tortured him before. I'm hoping to use that connection to extract something from the prisoner since you haven't been doing a good job of getting anything out of him."

Poe had to admit that what General Organa just pulled was both smooth and scary as General Tart was taken aback. Then the pilot reminded himself that General Organa was a Princess of Alderaan before all of this, so she was used to dealing with politicians and their bullshits.

 

They walked through several passages that leaded from the front gate to the East Wing. General Tart was talking about the security of this prison but Poe was half-interested. His focus was on the connection he had been trying his best to ignore. It's getting stronger and more solid as they're closer to the East Wing. Half of him was wondered if this was a trap Kylo had prepared. But General Organa was so sure that something must have happened.

 

The East Wing was heavily guarded, which was very understandable given the prisoner it held.

"General?"

Commander Lelo who was in command of East Wing. He was a middle-age alpha with a scar on his nose. He expressed his surprised but Poe saw more than that. He saw fear. Commander Lelo was hiding something.

"I am here to see Kylo Ren, Commander, Lelo," General Organa got straight to the point. Poe narrowed his eyes as Commander Lelo's face seemed to be paler. His instinct was growling at Commander Lelo, it had already decided that Lelo wasn't to be trusted.

"Right now, General Organa?" the commander asked and Poe felt like something was wrong. He was sure now that Commander Lelo was hiding something.

"Yes, please take us to him," General Organa said, her voice serious and offered no room for argument. Commander Lelo gulped before he immediately leaded the way.

"He took down several guards with the sorcery trick of his, General Organa." Commander Lelo said as he leaded them deeper into the East Wing. "I've never had to change guards this much in one month, even after we gave him sedative. He's a monster."

They stopped in front of a heavily guarded door. Commander Lelo punched the passcode and the door slid opened slowly, revealing a large room with a large single cell in the middle of it. They could see through the cell's wall and saw Kylo Ren there, curving up into the ball in the middle of it. Poe noted that there seemed to be some kind of frosts attaching to the cell's walls and even on Kylo Ren.

"What have you done, Commander?" General Organa asked. She was frowning. "You lowered the temperature in his cell?"

"Yes, General," Commander Lelo nodded. "I'd been trying a new method to get him to talk every day because none seemed to be working right now. Last week we tried electrocute, and he knocked out several of our guards. We'd tried to give him sedative to make him docile enough that he couldn't use whatever tricks he could, but the sedative also increased his threshold for pain and made him able to endure anything we used on him. Right now I'm trying if this long torment will work."

Poe's blood boiled at Commander Lelo's words. He felt like punching Commander Lelo and gutted him for what the man did.

"Get him out," General Organa said, her voice sharp and cold. "Stop these nonsense torture Commander, this is useless and inhuman."

The prison guards moved toward the cell as soon as she finished. They punched in the code for the temperature control to slowly increase the temperature in the cell back to normal. General Tar looked trouble while Commander Lelo looked annoyed.

"The First Order will do even worse," Commander Lelo grumbled. "I can guarantee you General, there is nothing too cruel for this monster. Those sleazes will gut you alive if they're too desperate to wait for a long and more effective method."

"We are the Resistance commander, not the First Order," Poe spoke up before he could stop himself. "You know nothing about them."

"And what did you know?" Commander Lelo turned toward him. "Who are you anyway?" He almost sneered, and Poe was impressed that this man could be worse than what he had thought.

"Commander Poe Dameron of the Black squadron," he replied. "And don't start lecturing me about the First Order. I was captured and tortured by him before." He pointed at Kylo Ren who still curved up into a ball. "I will know when you're lying, and I hate liars."

"Watch your mouth…" Commander Lelo started but Poe punched him before the older alpha could finish. Commander Lelo staggered back, turning back to Poe with a growl. Poe growled back. Behind him, BB-8 was saying that Commander Lelo was rude and that the man deserved the punch.

"Stop it!" General Tart, who had been quiet during their journey to the room, bellowed. "Guards! Take Commander Lelo to his office. I want him to cool down before questioning."

"Questioning? I didn't do anything!" Commander Lelo growled but didn't fight when he was pushed of the room by heavily armed guards. Poe watched until the alpha was out of sight that he turned back to watch their prisoner. Ben, Kylo Ren – whatever, looked so thin.

Besides him, General Tart was apologizing to General Organa of what happened here. The male beta said that he would take full responsibility of what happened. They then started discussing the place they would be taking Kylo Ren to for the questioning. And General Organa insisted that the prisoner was checked up by the medic before they started anything.

Poe was silent during the process of slowly and cautiously taking the omega out of the cell. Kylo Ren hadn't moved a muscle since they arrived. The only visible sign that he was still alive was the slight movement of his torso when he breathed. He was asleep as the medic escorted him to the infirmary.

 

As the medic worked, all Poe could do was wait. He was escorted to the room where guards used to rest between their shifts. General Organa was with General Tart, questioning Commander Lelo. Poe hoped that the bastard would get what he deserve. He knew it's necessary to get the information they needed, but Commander Lelo had overdone it and was clearly torturing his prisoner for his own pleasure more than doing his job.

Poe's thought went back to Ben. He hoped that the omega would be able to recover from what happened. Then he felt something burst through the connection between them.

Ben was awake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

 

"…he's heavily malnutrition, but he doesn't lose the child."

"What?" Poe snapped his head toward the medic. "You're going to say that…even he's that skinny…" he pointed toward Ben who was on the bed in the other room. The wall between them was half made from bulletproof glass, so they're able to see the omega clearly. Ben was staring at the ceiling.

"Yes, which isn't usual, but not unexpected." The doctor explained. "Sometimes Force sensitive beings will let themselves starve to death than to dispose of the child in their body."

"That's…" General Organa inhaled sharply as her sat down. "…that's…a miracle the child survive."

Poe turned to look at Ben. His thought was no longer with General Organa and the medic. He had a feeling that he had to talk to the omega, or at least told him that the child was alive. But another half of him disagreed. Ben would have felt it by now that the child was still with him. He's a Force-sensitive after all.

 _And he had tried to kill that child himself_ , one voice in Poe's head said. _He tried to starve himself so his body will abandon the child._

 _Don't presume. Maybe he didn't eat because we're the Resistance, he doesn't trust us as much as we cannot trust him,_ another voice interjected and Poe started to have a headache _._ He had no idea while he had to debate with himself about Ben when he wasn't the one to decide what would happen to Ben.

Poe turned to General Organa and waited for her order. But when Poe looked closely at her, he realized that General Organa was as lost as he was. She didn't know what to do with Ben. She believed that there was still good in him, but after the death of Han Solo she was no longer able to take the risk again.

Poe decided that it's time him acted.

"General," he called her softly, and General Organa turned her head his way. "Please let me talk to him."

She looked at him. Poe wasn't sure what the General was looking for, but she found it and she smiled. It's still a sad smile, but he would have her permission.

"Be careful Poe," the beta said as Poe stood up. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't" Poe replied before walking toward the door that leaded into Ben's room. The doctor was reluctant, but Poe glared at him and he gulped before turning toward the control panel. General Organa signalled for the guard to take their places as the doctor typed in the passcode.

The door slid opened and Poe walked in. Ben was still on his bed, eyes trained on the ceiling. Yet, Poe had a feeling Ben knew who's walking into the room.

The door slid shut behind him and Poe kept walking, slow but steady. He stopped midway before he reached the bed and sat down. He had a feeling that Ben wouldn't stay still if he was too close.

The alpha kept his mouth shut and waited. He wanted to know what Ben was going to do. In the corner of his eyes, the guards were tenses while the doctor was ready with sedative gun in his hand. General Organa was watching them without blinking. Poe knew she was waiting to see what he had planned.

 

"What do you want?"

In the end, it's Ben who spoke first. His voice was hoarse and weak, and Poe almost felt bad for what Ben went through. Almost.

"There is a connection between us."

He started slowly, hoping that Ben wouldn't just sit up and attack him.

"Oh really?"

"I'm not joking. There's indeed a connection. I felt your pain when you was cut in the forehead and stomach." Poe said and waited for the result. And when Ben didn't speak, he went on. "I feel it like he was cutting me. I don't know what this means, but I guess that it's something to do with the Force and with the fact that we're…physically tied to each other."

Ben still kept his mouth shut, but Poe started to feel a wave of mixed emotion from the omega. Ben was scared, angry, afraid, but mostly confused and disappointed in himself. Poe was almost knocked by the self-degradation that was rolling from Ben. Then, another wave of emotion crushed Poe, a wave of pure hate. However, Poe still picked something up.

 _Ben hates himself more than he hates us._ Poe thought, eyes widened in shock at his discovery. And he…he wants the child to live.

"What do you want?" Ben asked again, pulling Poe back to the present. His voice was weak and bitter, but there's no malice nor hate. "Just get straight to the point and tell me what you want?"

Then it's Poe time to turn silent and consider. He decided to walk in here on instinct that he might get Ben to talk. Now the omega did talk, but that's enough. Poe wanted more than that.

"I…I'm not sure. I just want that child to live." So he settled with the most honest thought he had right now. Poe truly wanted the child in Ben's womb to live. It's not matter that its father was a murderer nor that it was born from an accident. It's innocent, and Poe wanted to give it a chance.

"Why?" came another question.

"It's innocent. It should have a chance." That's his reply. And Poe meant every word he said.

"Then what? You will raise it?" Ben sounded like he was mocking Poe, but the wave of emotion that hit Poe told him otherwise. Ben was crying on the inside. Poe didn't sure why or what was the cause, but he was sure that Ben wasn't looking for a fight. Ben was tired, and all the omega wanted to do was sleep.

Back to Ben's question, Poe had a feeling that he needed to get this one right. He didn't know why it's this important, but he had to be 100% honest in this.

"Yes" was his reply. Ben stayed silent and Poe did the same. He tried his best to stay calm and tried to analyse the mixed emotions kept rolling from Ben. The omega was shocked, and then many emotions crashed together and it almost knocked Poe over at how strong they were.

Then Poe saw the light. Not the real one, but the light in Ben. It's weak like a candle in a stormy night, but it's there. But then Ben cut their connection. No, not cut, block their connection. It seemed like the omega had been in his own thought that he just realized he had been letting his emotions ran free for a while.

"Tell General Organa," Ben said, his voice was shaking and so weak. Weaker than any time Poe had heard him speak. "Tell her that this is her grandchild. I will not kill it. But Ben Solo is dead. Do not seek for him."

"I will," Poe said, standing up. He had a feeling that they're done for today. Ben needed his rest and Poe needed some times to clear the mess in his head.

He exited the room and walked toward General Organa. He told her what Ben told him and watched the old beta sighed. The former princess of Alderaan looked even older than she really was.

"Thank you Poe," General Organa said. "I won't be able to get him to talk."

"What's next General?" Poe asked. "I mean; what will you do with him."

"Honestly, I don't know," the General shook her head. "I've planned to let him recover, but after that? I don't know Poe. He might be my son but he's also the Resistance's prisoner. I cannot have bias when it comes to this."

"I understand," Poe nodded. As their leader, General Organa must not let her personal feeling came first. "I'll try to think about it General. That…that's my child too."

General Organa looked at him and smiled. A rare smile that Poe knew its meaning. Hope.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

**A week later**

"Commander,"

"Yes, Snap?"

"Something on your mind?"

"I beg your pardon?" Poe raised his eyebrows. They're at the hanger, prepping the X-wings for their next mission. Snap's X-wing was beside him and it seemed like his comrade started to notice that something was off.

"You're preoccupied." Snap pointed out. "Is there something on your mind? Is it the mission?"

Poe considered the choices he had. He could tell Snap to drop it or he could offer a bit of truth. He was thinking about the mission and Ben. But Ben was off limits so he's going to settle with what he could tell.

"This mission concerns me Snap," he said. "I have a feeling that something might go wrong, which I'm always right. It might not be a major disaster, but we cannot afford to lose another X-wing. Without the Republic, we don't have much supports for ship's parts and blah, blah, blah."

"I understand," Snap sighed. Their mission was to secure the trade route from the First Order and the smugglers. One of the planet had offered to trade with them, but not until this trade route was secured. They had to accomplish this mission if they didn't want the storage to get emptier and emptier every day.

After Snap turned back to his X-wing, Poe turned back to his. The truth was, the mission half concerned Poe, but he was more concerned about Ben. General Organa kept him update about the omega; Ben was recovering but he wouldn't say anything. Her son didn't talk to anyone, but he still complied to the doctor's requests. Also, Doctor Alleen had been moved from the main base to take care of Ben, but the omega didn't even look like he recognize his old doctor.

"Another time Poe, it's almost time," Poe whispered to himself as he made one last check on his X-wing. He would think about Ben after the mission. Now he and his team had to secure the trade route first.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Kylo curved up under the cover. After the visit of that alpha, he could say that he's feeling better. They kept him in the med bay with guards at every entrance. That's fine. He didn't plan to make an escape, not now. He's too weak to do that.

The alpha was right about the link, the connection, between them. It's still there but Kylo had blocked it now. He didn't need more distractions as he tried to think of what to do next. He's certain that the Resistance would keep him alive as long as the child hadn't born yet. After that? He didn't know. Kylo dared to explore Poe Dameron's mind when the pilot was asleep, and it turned out that the alpha didn't know what General Organa would do with him either.

Kylo spent most of his day meditated. He tried to reach the Force and used it to explore things around him. Of course he still couldn't use the Force, or that bastard who tortured him would have been dead by now. In the first few days when he was here, Kylo had attacked several guards. He might not be able to use the Force, but he knew hand to hand combat, and he's still better than most of them here. They had to use their numbers to overpower him.

Despite the connection to the alpha, Kylo still felt another connection. It's very weak, but it's there and it's getting stronger and stronger every day. He knew what it was, it's the connection between him and the child in his womb. And the more he meditated, the more Kylo started to see it with his mind. It's a shape of a water drop, so small but so bright. Innocent and pure with the Force. Kylo didn't dare to make contact with it yet, all he did was watching it grew and became brighter and brighter every day.

Kylo thought about the _Finalizer_ and Hux. That General was probably happy to have all commands in his hand. Kylo wondered if Supreme Leader Snoke had already chosen the other Knight of Ren to replace him. The one with no weakness, the one who would probably kill Kylo Ren without hesitance. Oh, that's going to be hard to guess. Most of the Knight of Ren were capable of killing without remorse.

 _So now I'm no longer one of them_ , he sighed. Strangely, he accepted this easier than he had thought. Or maybe he had had this thought since he was captured and the First Order didn't even try to save him. _They don't need such weakness to drag them down. I'm clearly a failure since I got caught in the first place. The question is; what will I do next? Should I seek revenge, should I try to win Snoke's favour back? Or should I…join the Resistance? No, no kriffing way I'm going to do that. I'm not joining the Resistance._ He grunted and sat up. In the corner of his eyes, all the guards were alarmed by his sudden movement, but he didn't care. Kylo got up from the bed and started pacing around the cell he was in.

 _It's not their fault I'm weak. It's my fault. It's not their fault they won't try to save me. But I'm still angry, but angry at whom?_ Kylo thought as he paces, subconsciously putting one of his hand on his stomach. _What do I really want? Maybe I want revenge, but for whom? And because of what? Whom am I wanting a revenge on? The Resistance? Snoke? The First Order? Luke Skywalker? Leia Organa? Poe Dameron?_

He made several abrupt turned and noticed the guards started to reach for their weapons. Kylo smirked, they're so pathetic. Just his movement could make them so tense. How pitiful. These are the Resistances who claimed they had no fear against the First Order? Liars. _I'm always surrounded by liars._

He tabbed into the Force, trying to seek the answer. He stopped his pacing and sat down, closing his eyes and tried to meditate. Before this, he meditated in hope to calm his mind and make him think clearer _. I've been a fool, spending those times trying to calm my nerve when all I should have done is seeking for the answer._

He explored his own memories, mixing them with the Force. And this time, he didn't try to take in his surroundings, but extended it beyond this planet. Kylo reached out to the galaxy. The Force was truly everywhere, it surrounded every beings. And then, Kylo felt the kind of pain which was somehow familiar.

It's not a pain from torture, but a dull pain that were born from war. An invisible wound, the lost, the sadness, the collapsing of economics. _Cities after cities, planets after planets are slowly dying from the war. Small planets that wished to stay neutral. But no one listened to them. Not even the Resistance. They're dying, slowly, painfully, as their people suffer from the war. The solar system that die because their sun was taken away._

It's the same kind of pain Kylo had experienced when he was younger. _I didn't understand it at that time, thinking that it's from myself. Thinking that it's because of all those bastards mocking him of being an omega._ He thought, face became pale as realization hit him. _Luke Skywalker had lied to me, or the old man didn't know since he was a fool, too blinded to notice this fact. And Snoke? That sleaze probably lied. I'm such an idiot._

_I'd misunderstood most of the pain from the start, blaming all of them on Luke Skywalker and his lack of abilities to protect me from those words. No, those words pained me, but it's not the pain that pushed me to the Dark Side. No, it's not. I can feel the pain of the galaxy, but I didn't know what it truly is until now. And Snoke lied to me that the pain was there because the Light side didn't let me express my feelings. He tricked me into understanding that the Dark side helped ease my pain when the truth is I used it to cloud my mind, not to erase the pain. The pain of the galaxy cannot be erase with this war going on._

_I've murdered so many people for nothing._

The realization hit him hard and Kylo gasped, almost hyperventilated. He sat there, hands clenched into fists as wave of emotions hit him. The first emotion was anger, then regret, and then sadness. Disappointment and loathing were amoung them too. _Now I understand. I understand it. I understand my mistake. I'm such a fool._

He spent another half an hour trying to calm his mind down. The Force felt so bright to him. He couldn't use it yet but now he understood what he had been going through since he was a child. He had misunderstood everything, and now he's paying for his mistakes.

Without himself knowing, there were tears in his eyes and Kylo was crying. He bit his lower lip to prevent the sound, but the tears were falling now. And in the end, he looked up and screamed.

The guards rushed in, along with the medic. They tried to figure out what was wrong with them, but Kylo didn't care. He screamed until there was no sound coming out of his mouth, until the Doctor Alleen decided to inject him with a sedative.

As his conscious was slipping awat, suddenly Kylo knew who he wanted to have his revenge on. _All of them. Everyone who is involved in this war. I will take care of them all._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"Commander Dameron, General Organa wants you in the command room now sir. It's an emergency."

"Okay, I will be there in three minutes," Poe tabbed his comlink and sighed as he quickly got out of his X-wing. The mission wasn't a disaster, but there was a fight and their lost one X-wing. However, they manged to secure the trade route and now they could trade with whatever that planet was.

BB-8 asked if Poe wanted it to come with him. Poe shook his head, telling his droid that he would be back soon.

Poe jogged to the command centre. He had a feeling that when General Organa called him because of an emergency, it probably meant Ben. He hoped that something didn't happen to the omega. Poe would probably rip the head of anyone off their shoulders if they dared to touch Ben without the general's order.

General Organa was at the centre of the room as Poe entered. He quickly walked to her and the old beta signalled for him to walk with her. They walked in silent until they reached an empty corridor. There, the general spoke.

"Ben has made a request." She said, hand clasped behind her back. "He wants to talk to you. Only you. He will accept no one else."

"That's surprising," Poe blinked. "I think he still hates me. Do you know why he requests me?"

"I don't know Poe," General Organa shook her head. "I hope that it's not a trap. We will leave this evening. I;ve relieved you of any duties until we get back."

"Okay," Poe nodded. "Anything else, ma'am?"

"No," General Organa shook her head. "Deliver your report and get some rest. Meet me at the hanger after dinner."

"Yes, ma'am"

Poe nodded and General Organa turned to go back to the command centre. He tried to see if there was something in the connection between them. No. Nothing. The connection was there but Poe felt nothing from Ben. The omega was still blocking him out.

 

 

The trip to the prison was quiet, just like the last time. General Tart leaded them straight to Ben with a curious look on his face.

General Organa and the rests of the guards waited outside while Poe walked into the room they kept Ben. The omega was sitting on the bed, didn't even turn toward him when Poe walked in.

Poe stopped somewhere between the bed and the door. He decided to speak first. "You requested my presence?"

Ben slowly turned his head. The omega's expression was neutral, but then something changed. The blockade between Poe and Ben's minds were gone. Poe expected to feel something, but no, this time he didn't feel something, he felt Ben. The whole of Ben's mind touching his. Poe was about to panic when he noticed that it's not like when he was captured; Ben wasn't trying to invade his mind. Also, the omega's mind felt different. Unlike when he was aboard the _Finalizer_ , Ben's mind was no longer cold and full with rage. It was still cold, but filled with something, something between determination and sorrow.

'Don't panic.' Suddenly, Ben's voice was in his head. 'I just don't trust vocal communication. I want only you to hear me, not them.'

'Okay, but you should have warned me first before you do something like this.' Poe replied. 'The last time our minds touched, you're trying to tear my head apart.'

'Sorry about that,' Ben chuckled cheekily. _He chuckles!_ Poe almost gaped but he controlled himself and schooled his expression to stay neutral.

'So, what do you want to talk about?' Poe decided to get to the point. He didn't want to have Ben in his head longer than necessary. Ben might not be as bloodthirsty as before, but he was still able to make a serious damage if he wished too. By the way, Poe almost had no way to defend himself from something like this. The last time he tried to resist, Ben just torn him apart.

'I will cooperate' was what Ben said. His voice serious. 'And I'm not joking or lying. I will give you information about the First Order, but you must give me a house. No guards. And I don't need a transport. You can surround the house with a minefield if you want, but no guards.'

Poe just stood there and stared at Ben. 'Wait, you're going to cooperate? What make you change your mind?'

Ben huffed. 'That's none of your business Mr. Dameron' the omega replied and suddenly Poe felt like this was Ben, not Kylo Ren. Or maybe his brain was making it up.

'I will have to talk to General Organa about this' he simply said, and Ben rolled his eyes.

'Of course, she's the boss, I know.'

And then Ben cut the communication between them. Poe almost collapsed as Ben's mind was blocked from him again. He stumbled forward and caught himself in time. Ben didn't even look at him now. Great.

"May I ask, why me?" Poe asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Ben didn't reply, at first, but then he turned Poe's way. "Because I trust you."

Poe wondered what Ben really meant. But the omega had turned his back on him and Poe decided that their conversation was done. He signaled the guards and waited for the door to be opened. The alpha had a feeling that Ben's request would bring both relief and concern to the general.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.

 


End file.
